#but i remember the young me been absolutely terrified of anything about it that if someone else out there feels the same i need to say it

[nenehyuuchiha]

Fucking hell, when I look for emetophobia I want to find other people that struggle with the same shit, maybe some tips on how they deal with it, not art that includes image of people vomiting, THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR!

[finelinevogue]

the best thing

summary - you hate harry after that one night together, but when you need someone the most he will always be there

a/n : mentions of sexual assault, quite intense scenes, crying, angst, drunkeness

word count : +3.8k

pairing : ceo!harry x reader

You don’t know how you got here.

One minute you were eating crisps at home and watching reruns of Friends, then the next thing you know you’re at an exclusive event in the centre of London with your best friend; Leia.

Apparently, your best friend is now dating some actor who is in with all the A-list celebrities and so she can get into all these cool events now.

This party was hosted by none other than Harry Styles, billionaire and CEO of StylesTech. He happened to be the one man on Earth who you absolutely despised. Well, maybe he wasn’t the only one.

Harry became a celebrity when he got put on the front cover of GQ’s magazine for sexiest man alive four times. That’s right… four.

Harry was friends with James, your best friends new boyfriend, and had said she could also invite a plus one. The more the merrier was what Leia had said over the phone.

Now you were here.

Some rooftop bar in the heights of London. The lighting was very low, the music was very loud and the room was completely packed.

There was a dance floor where people were grinding more than dancing. There was a bar, which apparently was a free-bar. There was panoramic views of the city and tiny people below, making you feel like a Goddess up here in the clouds.

“We’re going to get drinks, you coming?” Leia asked you, James tugging on her hand to move them through the crowd.

“Yeah.” You nodded and grabbed onto her open hand.

You weaved through the crowds, apologising for people you bumped into.

You felt slightly too single here. Everyone seemed to be clinging onto someone and yet you were clinging on to a couple - third-wheeling to be precise.

When you reached the bar Leia and James ordered together, leaving you wait for another waiter to come to help you.

You waited a few more moments, before someone whistled behind you like they were calling over a dog.

“Oi, Henry. Serve this lady now.”

You turned around with a disgusted look on your face, only to be met with Harry Styles in front of you. He smirked at you when he noticed your facial expression.

You scoffed and turned back to Henry. “Don’t worry yourself about me. You can finish whatever job you were doing, hun.” You smiled at the young boy, who looked terrified of his boss behind you.

“No, he won’t.” Harry came and stood beside you. “She’ll have a vodka cranberry with ice.”

“She has a fucking name. Prick.” You mumbled the last word under your breath. “Sorry, Henry. I’ll actually have a Long Island Ice Tea, please. Thank you.”

Henry was off, probably to get away from Harry and make your drink.

“Sure your tolerance can handle a Long Island?” Harry laughed beside you.

“Don’t act like you know me, Harry.” You sneered his name.

“Oh, but I do know you. Don’t I? Know you very, very, well.”

You huffed, trying to not let his words effect you.

You knew exactly what he was talking about. Specifically, the night he was talking about. It had been one night back when you were working in a rival tech company. You had been issued to attend a conference weekend, there had been limited numbers of rooms and Harry - the gentleman at the time - had offered you a space in his room.

That night you had too many vodka cranberries and ended up sleeping with Harry that night - although not much literal sleeping actually happened.

The point of hatred for Harry occurred when he left in the morning after you’d confessed that you could see yourself liking him. You’d offered yourself to him for a date together and all he said was; ‘I don’t do seconds.’

Hence, the birth of the hatred for GQs sexiest man alive x4.

“That was one night, years ago. Wasn’t anything to remember.” You sneered.

You lied. It was actually one of the best nights of your life and no one has been as good since.

“Except it was. You didn’t scream that much because you were hating it.” Harry sipped on his glass of whiskey.

“You’re a fucking pig.” You grabbed your drink that Henry had given to you now. “Stay away from me, Harry.”

“Then why did you come to my party?”

“I’m here because of Leia, not you.”

You scoffed and walked off, leaving Harry leaning against the bar in his gorgeous suit to stare at you as you walked away.

The little black dress and heels would do wonders for the power walk away from him. He could see what he has been missing.

You saw Leia and James standing at a table and went over to join them.

“Hey.” You said on approach.

“Hey babes.” Leia smiled as James wrapped his arm around Leia’s waist.

“Cosmo?” You asked, pointing to Leia’s drink.

“You know it. And what the fuck did you get?”

“Long Island.”

“Do you even like them?” Leia laughed.

“No.”

“Then why—”

To prove a point. “Dunno.” You shrugged, taking a sip and feeling sick already from how disgusting the drink was.

“Oh hey man.” James unwrapped his arm around Leia to shake hands with someone. Unfortunately for you, it happened to be the one man you were trying to stay away from.

“Hey. How are you?” Harry asked as they bro hugged.

“Good, good yeah. This is my girlfriend, Leia.” James introduced her.

Leia smiled politely, shaking his hand, and you suddenly wished you’d told her that the story behind the ‘One-Night-Stand’ guy had been this guy. “Hello. Great party.”

“Thanks.”

“And this is Y/N, Leia’s best friend.” James introduced you, not realising that you didn’t need an introduction.

Harry stuck his hand out for you. If you didn’t shake it someone would know something is wrong, so you could your hand in Harry’s and tried to ignore the soft skin against yours. Instead, you tightly squeezed as if you were trying to strangle his hand.

“Lovely to meet you, Y/N.”

You just tightly smiled, not feeling like returning the sentiment.

“Have we met before? You look very… familiar.” Harry had the cheek to say to you. He was an evil man.

“No. You don’t really have a face that I’d remember.” You pulled your hand away from him in disgust.

“Oh really? I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.”

“It’s not.” You smiled, returning to your drink and trying not to gag with how awful it tasted.

“Uh, so, what are you drinking Harry?” Leia asked, clearly sensing some tension between you.

“Vodka cranberry.”

“Ah no way! That’s our Y/Ns favourite drink.” Leia smiled genuinely.

“How coincidental.” Harry faked a shocked face.

“Yeah. Truly.” You rolled your eyes.

“You two must be soulmates or something.”

“That would require two people going on an actual date.” You stabbed into the conversation.

“I guess..” Leia looked awkward now.

“Your capable of going on a date, aren’t you Harry?” You innocently questioned, turning to face him.

Harry’s nostrils flared and it looked like he was biting back from saying something brass. Instead of speaking, he shot back a good half of his drink.

“Lovely speaking to you, Leia. James, we’ll catch up in a bit.” Harry nodded his head to them both. You didn’t miss how he didn’t acknowledge you as he left the table in a hurry.

You breathed a sigh of relief after he’d gone.

“What the fuck was that about?” Leia asked you immediately.

“What?” You asked dumbly.

“You and Harry. The sexual tension was insane!”

James nodded his head in agreement.

“Don’t be silly.”

“Y/N… C’mon. I’ve seen a penis and a vagina have less sexual tension than you and Harry. Get a fucking room next time.” Leia fanned herself.

“I give up.” You shook your head and downed the rest of your disgusting drink.

“Where are you going?” James asked.

“To find a fourth wheel for me.”

•••••

Twelves minutes later and you’d managed to find someone to spend the rest of your night with.

His name was Jordan and he was very good company. Attractive company too.

You two were cornered away in the back of the room in a circular booth. A tray of shots lay empty in front of you and another tray contained full ones.

You were playing a drinking game to get to know each other and now you were absolutely spinning. Your head had taken a hit after the fifth shot and now you were nine deep and couldn’t stop yourself.

“M-my turn.” You laughed as you hiccuped.

“Okay.”

Jordan sat close to you, his arm wrapped around the back of the booth where you were sat. His eyes were deep brown and his hair was light blonde. He looked the complete opposite of Harry, which maybe was subconsciously a choice.

“Favourite sex position?” You giggled immaturely.

“Hmm. Doggy. I actually hate seeing a girls face when we’re fucking.” He replied and you had to take a shot because he answered honestly.

That should’ve been your first red flag about Jordan.

You just laughed instead.

“My turn. Have you ever masturbated?”

“Alllll the time. No guy does it for me anymore.” You laughed sadly.

Jordan took his shot and then moved in closer towards you. You tilted your head so he could speak into your ear.

“I could fix that problem for you.”

Your eyes bugged at his forwardness.

“No thanks.” You shook your head and laughed to try and keep it civil.

“Oh c’mon. You’ve been flirting with me all night and you know it.” His hand dropped onto your shoulders and pulled himself closer. His other hand dropped onto your bare thigh and started rubbing up and down on your soft skin.

“No I haven’t!” You laughed the situation off.

“You have. And I bet you’re all excited ‘cause of it.”

He started moving his hand further up your leg. Due to your toxic alcohol intake your reaction times were a little slower, but when his hand had made it underneath your dress-skirt you gasped and tried to tug his hand away.

“No. Please stop.” You said softly, whining as he tried to push his hand higher.

His face came closer again and he started to kiss your cheek. You tried to move your face away but his other hand was there to trap you and keep you close.

You started to worry because of how dark it was and how hidden away you were. Everyone was busy dancing and drinking away and none the wiser about the situation you were in.

“Give in, you tease.” His hot breath felt disgusting against your skin.

“I said no. Please.”

You struggled to push him off. Both your hands were focusing on his hand on your leg that you couldn’t do much to get his face away from yours.

“You’ve been teasing me all night and now we get to play.” He laughed.

Tears formed in your eyes as you kept pushing and pushing and pushing. You kept saying no over and over again, but Jordan was just not listening.

He felt disgusting on you and it made you feel just as disgusting.

Jordan just kept laughing whilst you were crying.

An employee caught your eye - in fact, it was Henry. You thought he might’ve come over to you and help, since he could clearly see you crying and struggling with Jordan on you, but instead he turned and walked away.

You sobbed then, thinking that might’ve been your only chance to get help and he just left.

You wondered whether it was because Harry was a dick to him.

You closed your eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts as Jordan started attacking your neck.

You tried to think of Harry. It wasn’t hard.

He was constantly on your mind.

“You taste so good. Stop denying me all of you.” Jordan bit your neck too harshly to be pleasurable.

“Jordan, no!” You shoved with all your strength and managed to completely get him off. You were pissed now. Your mascara may have run, your eyes red and blotchy, your breath shaky, but that was all he was getting from you.

“No?” Jordan scoffed. “NO?”

Jordan grabbed your cheeks and pulled you towards him.

“Ow.” You mumbled through his harsh grip.

“Listen here you little bi—”

“The fuck is going on here?”

Jordan dropped your face and straightened his jacket, whilst you turned your head to find who you already knew was there; Harry.

His voice had sent a wave of calmness through your body the second he started speaking. Now he was standing there with a deathly look on his face you couldn’t help but feel relief.

And you noticed Henry standing behind him, looking just as angry.

“Hi boss. Just having fun.” Jordan responded.

Harry looked between Jordan and you. Jordan looked dazed and content, whilst you looked broken and scared.

“Are you okay?” Harry looked intensely at you.

“She’s fi—”

“I wasn’t fucking speaking to you, was I?” Harry rhetorically asked. “Y/N, come here, love.”

Harry held out his hand, palm facing up.

You made no hesitation as you weakly moved away from Jordan and towards Harry.

Harry helped you stand up and kept a tight hold on your hand. It grounded you, his touch.

“Can I touch you? Just on your face?” Harry asked you softly and you nodded.

Harry cautiously held your chin and moved your head to the side, noticing the red mark and blood on your neck. He hadn’t taken note of your legs yet, but he would come to find red marks on them too.

Your teary eyes were wiped by Harry’s careful thumb. You looked down at his shoes the entire time, too afraid to look at him. You knew you’d crumble if you did.

“Are you okay?” He asked you again.

“No.” You said softly, shaking your head. “I-I was really scared, Harry.” Your voice broke and Harry immediately cupped the back of your head and brought you into his chest. You collapsed there and Harry’s hands held you up strong.

“You’re okay now. I’m here, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Harry said, whilst nodding his head discreetly to the two security men.

They came over within seconds and yanked Jordan out of the booth. His protests were no match for the security guys. As he was being escorted out, Harry stopped him to say “See you in court.”

After Harry had thanked Henry with a nod and smile, he walked the small distance over to the same booth and sat down on the edge of it, pulling you to sit on his lap.

Your body was still wracking with sobs, but only because the adrenaline of the situation had been too much for you.

Now you knew you were safe, it was too much.

Harry made you feel safe.

He rocked you as he held you. It was too loud to have a quiet, serious, conversation, but his actions spoke loud anyways. I’m here. You’re safe. It’s okay now.

You heard Harry shout to someone for a glass of cold water, which was brought back to you within a minute.

"Here, sunshine, drink this." Harry spoke closely to you so you could hear.

He held the glass up to your lips and tipped it back slowly for you. Your hands were too shaky to hold onto it yourself, but you managed to drink carefully with the help of Harry.

He even knew when you'd had enough.

Harry's hand cupped the side of your head and brought you to rest back onto his chest. His head stayed rested on top of yours and you both just sat like that for ten minutes or so. It was hard to know exactly how long.

You just sat and thought about everything that had happened tonight and everything that could have happened. Mixed with that, your brain was constantly thinking about Harry and how much, no matter how hard you try otherwise, you like him.

Your heart feels constantly pulled towards him. He's like a beacon in the middle of a storm, safely guiding you towards home.

Just as those thoughts were circling your mind, Harry made his move.

He told you he was going to stand up, so you let yourself slide off his legs onto your own shaky ones. You thought he might be leaving you to go back and mingle with the other guests, so you stood shy to the side.

Harry leaned over to Henry and whispered something in his ear to which Henry nodded.

Before you could make plans as to what you were going to do now, Harry held out his hand to you again - giving you a choice to take it or not. Of course, you took it.

He squeezed your hand in reassurance and then lead you off and out of the room.

You two made no conversation as you wandered out of the noisy room and into a quiet staircase. Harry started walking up the stairs, so you followed him.

It was another two minutes before you made it to the top of the stairs and through a door that led to a rooftop. It was only very small. It overlooked the city skyline, with hundreds of twinkling lights casting shadows over the small space.

There were twinkling fairy lights too, up here. They were knotted around various creeping wall plants like ivy. In the corner of the square space there was a big L-shaped sofa with plenty of cushions and throws.

Harry turned back to smile at you, leading you to the sofa.

He sat down and let go of your hand, allowing you to choose where to sit.

You took one last glance at the skyline and up to the moon, before deciding.

"Wanna sit next to you." You said in a small voice.

"Okay." Harry smiled perfectly.

He shuffled back into the corner of the L-shaped sofa, sitting up and letting his legs stretch out on the chair in front of him. He patted his lap next with a smile. You shuffled over to him and sat on his lap, perpendicular to the way he was sitting so your legs stretched out along the other length of the chair.

"Comfortable?" He asked.

"Mhm."

Harry wasn't too sure though, and next thing you knew he was gathering a couple of blankets to throw over your legs and shoulders.

"Better. Thank you." You nodded.

"You're welcome."

"It's beautiful up here."

"I guess it is."

"Is it all yours?" You questioned.

"What? Everything up here?"

You nodded. Harry then took your hands in his and started to play with the few rings you had on.

"No. Not everything is mine."

You looked up at him and into his eyes, noticing he was looking straight back at you.

Your breath caught in your throat as you thought about the implications to his words. You couldn't help but let a blush and smile take over your face. If he was implying what you thought he was then maybe you were in with a chance of Harry liking you back.

"What do you want to have? You're a billionaire. You could have anything you want." You asked, curiously.

"No even a billionaire can buy everything." He smiled sadly.

"Well, what do you wish you could buy even though you can't?"

Harry chuckled under his breath, "Redemption. A second chance. Love."

You tilted your head back against the sofa, your head feeling less and less drunk by the minute. You sighed, looking at the beautiful moon and wondering how lonely she must be up there.

Loneliness is something you've suffered with for far too long.

You wanted to find that connection with that someone who makes you feel wanted, feel loved and feel chosen. You craved it.

You chuckled.

"What?" Harry asked, softly caressing over the back of your hand.

"It's just funny, is all."

"What is?"

"Us, wanting the same thing. Wonder if we want it from the same people." You tilted your head to the side to face Harry, watching him lick his lips as he looked at yours not-so-subtly.

"You already know we do." Harry said quietly, leaning in towards you.

Your breath hitched as he got closer, your heart beating faster than your brain was processing the motions. You knew you wanted to kiss Harry as badly as he wanted to kiss you, but not like this. Not yet, at least.

"Harry, wait..." You said, watching him stop immediately.

"Fuck. Shitting, fuck. Sorry, Y/N. That was completely inappropriate of me. I mean.. After... Tonight and us... and...."

Harry shot back to his original position and ran a stressed hand over his face as he tried to work through his thoughts.

You smiled as you watched him panic, before taking his stressed hands in yours and kissing the back of it softly - right over that small triage of freckles you knew sat pretty there.

"Hey. It's okay." You reassured him. "I'm not stopping you because of what happened this evening. I'm stopping you because I feel I deserve to know why I wasn't enough the first time around."

This was you standing up for yourself.

"Weren't enou-.. Y/N, love. God, I was such a dick. I never, ever, left you because I thought you weren't enough. I left because I didn't think I was. I was a nobody back then. I looked at you and saw someone who could literally be the epitome of sunshine, and then I looked at me and all I saw was a dark cloud that would cover you. I never thought someone as bright, as happy and as golden as you should ever have to be with someone like me. Hell, it's still a thought that niggles away at the back of my mind. But, I've learnt that I can't let those thoughts win. I owe it you myself, and definitely to you, to at least try."

"Well that was as good as apologies get." You sniffled, trying to hold back the happy tears.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, for our wasted years. I... I just wasn't ready for us back then and I know I was a prick about it."

"You were. A right big prick."

Harry wiggled his eyebrows and you had to fake punch him for it.

"I'm sorry." He said honestly. "And I'm sorry for tonight too."

"That wasn't your fault, okay? I promise." You squeezed his hand.

"Okay. I'm still suing that motherfucker though."

"You're a billionaire already!"

"So? I was going to donate the money to a sexual assault charity or something." He shrugged his shoulders like what he just said was no big deal - like he hadn't just shown his truest heart.

"You're a good person, Harry, who deserves good things." You moved closer to him.

"I am?"

"Mhm."

"Do these 'good things' include you?"

"I don't know. Do you think I'm a good thing?" You teased him.

Harry leaned in closer. "No. I think you're the best."

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

I was incredibly lucky enough to get to visit London and see Next to Normal twice in the short time I was there (and meet Jack Wolfe at the stage door!) But lots of fans might not have the same opportunity, so I wanted to share some details about the production and the changes/additions made to the performance since the Donmar production because I remember eagerly reading as many details as possible once upon a time.

Obviously, spoilers ahead for acting choices and stage directions. (Personally, I love spoilers and knowing what to look for in a production, but if you have the chance to see the show and want to be surprised, this is a good place to stop reading.

First off, Diana is shown as waaaaaay more crazy. Her behavior is far more erratic and there's never a moment when you think she's lucid and in control. Personally, I liked this change because I felt like in the Donmar production she was too... normal? She didn't quite behave as the person who broke down in the market, set the house on fire, crashed the car, and jumped in the swimming pool. Here, I completely believe she did all those things. Diana is hypersexual, ripping her top off as she runs past Natalie in the beginning to go have sex with Dan. She plants a kiss on Henry, to Natalie's utter horror, the first time she meets him. (Dan does not react to this, haha, he's used to it.) All of Diana's interactions with with therapists have an undercurrent of overly flirty, sexual dialog. Obviously, this is one sided and unreciprocated from the therapists. At one point she tells the therapist that she's flattered, but her husband is waiting in the car and it's impossible to see it as anything other than super sexual. (She's kinda into it though...) Diana lays curled on the floor more often clutching her head. You never doubt that she is manic.

Let's talk about Gabe.

Jack Wolfe rewrote the role of Gabe, there's no denying that. Instead of the menacing looming ghost, all American jock ghost, Jack plays him as a soft boy. The ultimate soft boy. And I didn't know it was possible, but he ramped that energy up 100% in this production. Jesus christ, he couldn't have been any more adorable if he stood on stage batting his eyelashes. Not only is Gabe played as a soft boy, he's particularly played as being very child-like. It's quite the duality. He has the body and mentality of a supposed 18 year old. He makes a joke about not taking coke "right now," and taunts his father with the location of the car keys at the beginning of the show. Later he reminds his mother that young people in love are horny.

Yet, Gabe's emotional responses, reactions to those around him are extremely childish. It really struck me how similar his expressions of joy, fear, and anger were to my toddler. Eerily similar. In a new addition, his face lights up with uncontrolled joy, giggling when he sees the music box. (His music box.) Gabe jumps to sit on the counter, and hugs it to his chest as he and Diana listen to the music.

There are moments when he is hurt by watching his parents fight and looks absolutely wounded. Like, shoulder hunched, chin tucked in looking down completely betrayed. Another new addition to this production includes Gabe turning his head away and closing his eyes as his mother flushes her pills down the drain. He does not want to see her do it. The dialog is a little at odds with this action because he still tells Diana that he thinks she's being very brave even though he visibly disagrees with her choice.

Gabe recoils in fear during the "chair moment" in a way you wouldn't expect from a young man. When Gabe and Dan crowd Diana during "I Am the One" she lashes out and grabs the chair, swinging it around, forcing them both away from her. Gabe jumps backward in surprise. But this time he also runs behind the counter, visibly terrified that his mother's anger is directed at him. He ducks as she swings the chair, unlike Dan, who is still on the same side of the counter as her and backs out of the way but continues singing and engaging with her, unlike Gabe who does it from a safe distance.

And when Diana's memories of Gabe, and Gabe himself returns after shock therapy, he unleashes the "I'm Alive Reprise" with what I can only describe as the same chaotic gleeful energy my toddler has when my kid starts evil cackling. It's a loud, full body laugh of delight that no one else takes any amusement in that, but that does not stop the child from enjoying it. It's a wild moment in the production. Gabe literally rolls around on top of the counter in delight at being unleashed.

Gabe is also more physically affectionate toward Diana. He hugs her several times and kisses her head. If he gets the opportunity to touch her, he will. In one poignant moment, Dr. Madden convinces Diana to look at Gabe's baby items and start letting go. Gabe tries to get her attention by attempting to hold her hand in order make her talk to him, and instead of taking it, she walks away and leaves him reaching toward her. He is devastated. In the Donmar production Diana and Gabe sat against the counter and leaned on one another. In this production that moment was substituted for Gabe kneeling on the floor and Diana lying on the floor and putting her head in Gabe's lap. He strokes her hair and reassures her.

Instead of seeming jealous or spiteful toward Natalie, Gabe seems enraptured with her. No sibling rivalry here. He tries, unsuccessfully, to get her attention several times and even places his hand over hers on the counter in a moment of comfort, not that she notices. In this production Gabe does not put Diana's purse or bag of pills in front of his sister, starting her addiction. She finds them herself.

This production solved one of the problems I originally had with "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" in the Donmar production. In the original original New York run Gabe was played by Aaron Tveit as the very jock, athletic all American boy, which is in strict contrast to Natalie, the dorky anxious sister. At the end of the song Gabe joins Natalie singing, "she's not there," until his voice overpowers her and takes over the song as a vocal reminder that he's the favored child. Obviously, the Donmar production didn't do this because Gabe changed to soft boy energy. So Gabe joining the end of the song, singing at Natalie made less sense that the two are no longer in competition. THIS PRODUCTION instead had both Gabe and Natalie singing the end of "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" to Diana, which was completely brilliant. Diana curls up on the floor clutching her head as both turn their attention toward her. Natalie stands at the top of the stairs and Gabe stands on the counter, both looming over Diana on the floor (asking her why she is not present in their lives and almost accusing her for casting them in the roles of Super Boy and Invisible Girl.)

Gabe is also present in more moments than the original Donmar production. He lurks in the background of several more scenes that did not feature him at the Donmar. This is an excellent choice. He joins Diana during her therapy session when she is hypnotized. Diana makes the joke about turning the light on at the bottom of the stairs to Gabe, both of them being playful and sharing teasing glances because they doubt the success of the hypnosis. (Jokes on Gabe) As Diana falls further into hypnosis, Gabe becomes less visible on stage until he's completely eclipsed behind Dr. Madden and cannot be seen at all even though he's still on stage standing behind the doctor. Gabe tails Diana through the house like a sad puppy afterward when she goes upstairs and retrieves the "baby box."

Gabe did not "try" to make his mother commit suicide. He grabbed his backpack and a dufflebag and started to walk out the door until Diana sang, "I'd die to dance with you." She had already made up her mind to die before Gabe turns around and begins to sing "There's a World." He seemed to help her after she already made her choice. It was less coaxing her into suicide and more guiding her through it, reassuring her of the what came at the end and how he would be there with her.

Gabe watches while Dan cleans up Diana's suicide attempt. He shows up just in time for Dan to sing the lyric, "And there's no one around," disproving Dan's claim that he's all alone. Now, looking this up, it seems like Gabe is supposed to be in this scene, but I have NO MEMORY of Gabe at this part in the original Donmar production. That could just be my faulty memory though. This scene really strengthens their confrontation later in "I Am the One Reprise." I also have no memory of the "sonogram scene" at the Donmar though I distinctly remember reading about it and was actively watching for the moment when Gabe stood on the upper floor and the curtain dropped, casting him in silhouette reminiscent to a sonogram while Diana listens to the music box. So maybe I'm just not remembering correctly? Still, this scene was also excellent and haunting as Gabe hummed the music box melody. The humming was beautiful and it broke me.

At one point in this production, Gabe almost touches his father, but pulls away first. Gabe, desperate to be acknowledged, stands in front of Dan, who reaches forward to touch Diana. Gabe quickly retreats in fear, and throws himself out of the way to avoid touching his father.

I'm not particularly sure anything changed during "I Am the One Reprise," but it's my favorite scene of the entire show, so I'm gonna talk about it. Because hot damn. Before this moment Diana talks to Natalie and sings "Maybe" While they talk Dan and Gabe are sitting against opposite side of the counter. (Dan in the front on the far left hands clutching his head, Gabe behind the counter on the far right curled into a ball, arms wrapped around his knees, forehead on his knees) When Diana finally tells Natalie (and the audience) how her older brother died, Gabe perks up at the mention of his name. He slowly unfolds, sits up, and listens as if it is the first time he's heard it too. Then Diana sings "So Anyway," and leaves. Both men watch her go. (To my utter amusement, Gabe turns into a prairie dog standing up on his knees -- again, reminding me of my toddler who does the same thing in order to sit up and see better -- as Diana leaves.)

Dan stands and starts singing "I Am the One Reprise" to Diana. But Gabe stands and starts singing the reprise to Dan. Then he gets to, "I know you told her that I'm not worth a damn, But I know you know who I am." And then the music cue drops.

It's so powerful.

For the first time Gabe looks angry. Confrontational. He demands to be recognized by his father while Dan denies his presence and begs him to go away. In a stunning leap of athleticism, Gabe jumps on the counter and grabs Dan from the back. It's almost violent. Dan struggles but Gabe refuses to let go until Dan spins around they lock onto each other's forearms and sing the same verse. It's so emotionally charged. Both actors are cry and yell at each other as they sing.

Then Dan starts to pull away and Gabe desperately reaches out trying to hold him again, but unable to from his position on the counter. He continues to reach out despite Dan growing farther away. it's heartbreaking. Dan finally says Gabe's name and recognizes him. It's all Gabe has wanted from his father the entire show. Gabe is so happy in this moment. They look like they are going to continue talking, but Natalie comes in and asks her father, "It's just us?" Now, I remember the line being "It's just the two of us?" at the Donmar, but it's been a hot minute, so I could be wrong (again). But I like, "It's just the two of us?" better because it forces Dan to deny Gabe once again. Dan deliberately looks over at Gabe on the counter before agreeing with Natalie. And Gabe just... gives up. He got the 10 seconds of acknowledgement he wanted from his father. Dan said his name and Gabe's content with that much even though Dan denies him once again in front of Natalie.

Gabe slowly gets off the counter, touches Natalie's hand, though she's unaware, and walks upstairs like a sad little ascending angel who watches over his remaining family.

Other thoughts:

I may not have talked nearly as much about the rest of the cast, but they were all perfect. I loved everyone's voice. Dan was sooooo sympathetic and I love him more and more each time I see the show. Natalie's voice is gorgeous. Stunning. Diana is an unreliable narrator and I think the audience often forgets that.

There are so many props in this set, it must be a nightmare to restock for each show. The food Diana throws around making sandwiches is real, as is the disastrous dinner. (During Diana and Dan's argument they clean up and Diana just throws the dishware into the trash, not just the food, the pan and bowl too and it feels so in character.) Everything else just gets shoved into the sink, haha. The sink does have running water. The birthday cake seems like a prop though and Diana did her best to keep the candles lit while she raced around the stage looking for her dead son. From the balcony on my first viewing I had a really good view of the baby box and saw the exact moment the "blood" began to leak from it. It happened very quickly before the stage turned around, which made me think the it was remote controlled and not set on a release timer (though it probably could be. Every movement from everyone on stage is extremely coordinated even though they are not dancing.) Sitting closer to the stage, the box seemed to leak from all four corners -- I'm just a weirdo who likes knowing these production details.

The cast popping out of the fridge was way funnier during "Psychopharmacologist and I" because they opened the fridge was used it as an ordinary fridge during the opening song. So it was totally unexpected.

Only one person audibly reacted in the audience to Gabe's death reveal between the two shows I saw. Lol. Everyone else went in knowing.

Jesus christ, I have no idea how the actors wore long sleeves and pants on stage. I sat four rows back on the second viewing and I WAS HOT from the stage lights and I wasn't running around the stage like they were. They definitely were visibly sweating.

A friend pointed out that the cast were using American accents, which I didn't realize. For the most part they sounded fine, especially compared to the interviews where the cast use in their natural accents. The most shocking difference was Natalie's actress -- she had the best American accent compared to her strong irl accent. Dan's actor too! Both Jacks couldn't quite cover up their soft vowels so my American ear didn't realize they were using an American accent when I heard their natural ones so clearly.

There were several stage mishaps the second time I saw the production. The curtain that goes up and down on the upper levels of the stage knocked over the "I'm Alive" microphone stand when it when down, knocking the mic off. The mic popped off and bounced down the stairs and rolled off the back of the stage where production presumably grabbed it. The actors picked up the mic stand and put the mic back on it in the next scene. The same microphone stand fell down again when Gabe turned around and his red backpack knocked it over. He picked it up very quickly.

During my "Psychopharmacologist and I" one of Dan's pill bottles, being used as a shaker, exploded. The actor froze for a second, then kept going as the "pills" scattered across the stage. He just put his empty hand in the pocket of the medical coat and continued. When the song ended, a production manager came out, apologized, and said the stage needed to be reset. All the actors left as the stage was swept. The audience looked at their phones for 5 minutes and then the production started again.

Next to Normal was such a joy to see. Like, yes, I saw it because of Jack Wolfe and he was absolutely a highlight of it. But I was never bored without him on stage. Though I did think "So Anyway" was a bit too long, but that's my personal opinion and the effect of jet lag may have influenced that thought. All of the cast and their voices were incredibly talented and I'm glad to be familiar with the show now.

This is long enough, but if you have any questions about the production, please ask! I am happy to answer questions to help those who might be able to see it in person visualize what happened on stage.

[balkanradfem]

Just watched The Substance and I honest to god can't believe this is considered a 'feminist' movie. Read your analysis and completely agrree. My male co-workers were actually gushing over this movie, they couldnt believe how many times they got to see the main actresses naked and posing sexually for them. If you made a movie for men to masturbate too you've absolutely failed in having a 'feminist' message.

And Sue literally being how incel men picture Hot Girls - getting everything she wants without doing anything, rich and vain, having sex whenever, posing sexually every morning and staring at herself constantly, while having no real personality. Its how a porn-addicted man wishes he could live, not any womens reality. She barely even has any lines in the movie.

Not to mention having Demi Moore be the 'old women' despite having obvious work done and looking nothing like a regular older women. Its like the movie itself was too afraid to actually show a realistically aged women, and when she does start getting gray hair and looking older suddenly shes acting cartoonishly bitter and slobbish. Im so sick of movies having women make disgusting looking food and a huge mess and it all being shown as gross and depressing. Portraying food and eating as disgusting and pigging out when women make it (for themselves, if theyre cooking for a man or kids suddenly its different) is just feeding into misogynistic beliefs, not subverting them.

And the classic, portraying sexist men as very goofy and dumb so they don't offend the male viewers by having an actual relatable man that acts just like them being criticised by the movie for his sexism. Also the whole point where the movie basically acts like if she'd just been able to go on that date with the random guy from school, she wouldve been fine. bc having a boyfriend and a man that says youre the most beautiful is all that a woman needs i guess.

Anyway I absolutely hated this movie. From a horror perspective it did some things very well, but the message was just foul to me. Not to mention the fact that men are now trying to give Margaret Qualley the Sydney Sweeney treatment, bc they got to see her naked, hyper-sexualized, and acting like a little girl infront of powerful men. This movie was the antithesis of what everyone is saying it is imo.

Yes, I remember feeling similar to this when I first watched it. So much of it was catering to the male gaze, so much of it I had to skip because it was pornographic material, the outrage at the woman who looked so young and socially attractive to be presented as 'too-old-looking', I didn't even consider how different she looked to the reality of female aging, I didn't know that much about her. I did think she looked young though!

And you described perfectly my own thoughts about the food! It was presented to us as if it was disgusting, it made me feel insane, it was food! I've never seen any food presented in such a way. I understood later that this part was meant to resonate with women who did see food in this way because of an eating disorder, and to them this looked very normal to how they feel about food, even though this seems terrifying to me, I can't even think about it that way.

You are so right that it's never portrayed like this when a woman is cooking for a family! I didn't even think of that. If she's making meals for others, then it's portrayed as extremely positive, if she's cooking for herself, horrible.

I actually didn't even see the missed date thing as her 'opportunity to be fixed', but you're right! They did depict that male as her last chance to make a human connection and to feel like a human again, as if a single male could resolve this insane amount of struggle she was in.

My conclusion is exactly the same as yours, it is not doing anything it's claiming to do, extremely disappointing as a feminist movie, so much catering to male gaze and awful and horrifying depiction of what women's lives are like.

[pocketgalaxies]

still trying to wrap my head around keyleth's "i trust orym and orym trusts you so i trust you." bc when she said that my first instinct was disappointment, i think? or at least wishing it was a little different.

i think it would've been so much more meaningful to imogen if keyleth just said "i trust you." to have someone trust her and her integrity, not just bc of the company she keeps but because of her. and to hear that from keyleth, someone that imogen has come to respect a lot. i also think keyleth would be keenly aware of those things – if there's anything i'm sure she's learned over the years, it's that her words have immense weight. this is absolutely one of the reasons she pauses so much when she talks (both a marisha-ism as well as a character moment!)

so i guess i just wonder if keyleth actually doesn't trust imogen enough yet and has to filter it through orym, just enough to give imogen the confidence and validation she desperately needs but not so much that it's a falsification or overinflation? would she lie about trusting imogen in order to instill confidence in her, i want to say probably not? but it could probably go either way and would be heavily dependent on what she's experienced in the last 30 years – what is keyleth's relationship with telling white lies and keeping little secrets, after a few decades as the voice of the tempest? it's easy to imagine that it's changed, but also perhaps remaining honest is something keyleth has come to greatly value. tbh i don't think this was particularly explored in c1, and vm did deceive quite frequently, but never in the role of Mentor to a younger, more naive adventuring party like bh

i do love the follow-up of "i see a lot of myself in you" bc the parallels were there all along and i just never noticed them. young women who grew up in a publicly broken family with the weight of their destiny becoming progressively heavier on their shoulders. unimaginable, overwhelming power coursing through them as they explore a foreign and vast world. questioning every single decision they make along the way. the responsibility of the fate of the world frequently, unrelentingly, falling to them for reasons completely out of their control. not knowing anything but knowing they love their companions and knowing they want to do good. not knowing at all what good is anymore. still striving for it regardless.

it does make me lean more toward yes keyleth does trust imogen, because keyleth knows that imogen does not trust herself but keyleth can recognize that she can be trusted, because keyleth was the same way and she turned out okay. if anyone would understand the simultaneously terrifying but also unquestionable reliability of a truly good person trying to survive in a harsh world, it would be keyleth. but then why didn't she say so! and also i just personally would like to think that keyleth does trust imogen after seeing all that she's sacrificed and the level of dedication she's demonstrated over the last several months. but maybe that's just my bias after seeing every little bit of anguish and anxiety that imogen has experienced, and it's very hard to tell/remember how much of that has actually been perceived by keyleth. but also to see herself in imogen would suggest that she's seen at least some of it?

anyway i'm driving myself crazy. but i wish she could've told imogen she trusts her, and idk what stopped her. :(

[gebediahhhhhhh]

I’ve seen a lot of people analyzing Lydia’s behavior in BJBJ, not only on tumblr. And a lot of posts about Lydia’s anxiety being illogical miss one certain point: anxiety IS illogical. As someone who spent enough time treating my depression and anxiety issues (and also abusing my medicine at some point) I can totally get her behavior. Let me explain.

WARNING: I’m not an expert in anything I’m talking about, this is just for fun and based on my own experience with mental issues. Also I’m very sleepy and English is not my first language.

When people analyze Lydia’s behavior, they usually have 2 points:

1. Lydia is afraid of ghosts in general; she’s getting anxious because she can see dead people.

2. Lydia is afraid of Beetlejuice specifically.

While the first one is more logically understandable, I don’t think it’s the thing. To me it was obvious that she was afraid of BJ and her panic attacks happened only when she saw him. The second one, though, makes less sense considering the events of the second movie, when Lydia summons BJ and she’s just like… annoyed. She looks at him and goes ew. I didn’t see panic. Which could be just her being calm and collected in the face of danger, but I don’t believe Lyds is like that, sorry 😭

So that leaves us with her reactions being kinda… inconsistent. Yeah! So let me introduce you to my hot takes:

- Lydia is mentally unstable and has big anxiety issues which lead her to panic spiraling about certain topics.

- Lydia is NOT afraid of ghosts in general (at least consciously), but seeing them still messes her up.

- Lydia’s only human and her memory of the first movie events is not perfect.

Let’s talk about this.

In the first movie we clearly see Lydia being depressed and suicidal. Here everything’s clear, I think. Depression at a young age can mess your brain big time and I doubt she got it medicated until she was a whole ass adult.

In the same first movie Lydia obviously doesn’t feel distressed around ghosts (except for BJ, because he’s a weirdo). She willingly spends time with Maitlands and dances with football players and in general she’s okay with ghosts.

From the second movie we get that she can see any ghost because of her gift. I can only imagine how many ghosts she’s met during these 36 years. Probably even before her show started, she would always randomly see dead people in all kinds of places. Some guy killed himself in this building 50 years ago? Yep, Lydia can see him haunting the place. This ability surely doesn’t bring comfort to one’s life, especially after you grow out of your teenage years and talking to dead people is no more considered a quirky thing.

Now back to her fear of Beetlejuice. In the first movie, he terrorized the Deetzes, but didn’t do anything harmful to Lydia specifically. The whole wedding thing must’ve been pretty scary though, I don’t think many people acknowledge that. In her place I would absolutely be terrified. But at the end she seems fine and cheerful, which could be a sign that she isn’t traumatized but all this ghostly stuff that much. So what could’ve happened for her to react to BJ like this?

What I’m thinking is, human memory is not perfect. It tends to blur some things, especially uncomfortable ones. And depression is known for causing memory issues as well. I, personally, barely remember my teen years. And I’m definitely younger than Lydia and saw far less shit in my life. So I’m just thinking that, for the past 36 years, her memory of encountering Beetlejuice might’ve gotten more vague and kinda replaced with… Maitlands’ stories about him.

We don’t know when exactly did the Maitlands leave, but I assume Lydia did spend with them enough time. I already saw a very good in-depth post about Lydia’s fear of Beetlejuice being fueled by the Maitlands’ experience of him being a pervy freak and whatnot. Yes, I agree!!! They absolutely did tell Lydia about all their afterlife experiences, including their first time summoning Beetlejuice. So Lydia must’ve known about him being extremely fucking weird.

Now, imagine: you’re a woman with many mental issues. Your job includes regularly seeing dead people who might look really disturbing and behave in a potentially dangerous way. You have many relationships issues as well and now… You start seeing a freaky ghost from your teenage years. What do you remember about him? Oh, not much:

- he hurt your dad and scared your family (which might have been funny when you’re 16, you do start seeing things differently when you grow up).

- he was acting absolutely disgusting towards your friend.

- he tried to marry you.

I don’t blame Lydia for freaking out. And considering she has anxiety, I can totally imagine her brain going different directions with thoughts how Beetlejuice might hurt her specifically. Been there, done that. I believe her seeing him at the studio wasn’t the first time, and her reactions just kept escalating because she kept thinking about him being a supernatural entity who can murder her, rape her, hurt her daughter, hurt her parents, etc.

But then she summons him and he’s… normal. I mean, relatively normal. You know that feeling when you’re afraid to make this really scary phone call, but when you finally do, it turns out to be not that scary? I imagine that what Lydia experienced, just ten times more intense lmao.

[a-french-coconut]

Luke Castellan (Part 1)

She's late.

It's not like her to be late.

Thalia is, in every aspect, a wild spirit but as the lightning striking the earth, she is always on time.

Especially since she took Annabeth with her, and gods know how much she loves the kid.

Luke does too, as much as a fourteen years old boy can love a little girl he sees like his sister.

He loves Thalia too, but it's more... complicated.

Nevertheless, they make Luke happier that he has ever been in his short, and frankly miserable, life.

He can't remember ever feeling truly happy in his childhood.

Not when he had to plaster a false smile for the worried teacher, reassuring her that his mother didn't forget about him, that she would come pick him up any minute now. Every day, without fault, he would quietly wait for her to get distracted and disappear in the city with no one to hold his hand and ask him about his day.

Sometimes, his mother would be sane, clear eyed. She would hug him, laugh with him, tickle him. She even made a birthday cake for him once ! The frosting was messy, too sugary but Luke had absolutely loved it . That is until he blew out his candles and she started screaming about how horrible, terrifying, atrocious the fate awaiting him was.

He never believed her, not even when Hermes didn't deny her claims the night he came back because Thalia needed to heal and it was the only option. He refuses to prove his mother right and nor will Halcyon Green's visions come true.

He'll prove them all wrong.

He is not going to betray anyone, he will not die some terrible way, eaten by a monster or something.

As long as he has Annabeth and Thalia, he'll be happy and the three of them can get through anything.

You'll see, I'm going to make it.

-----------------------------------

"Hey loser."

"You're late, very late even."

"Yeah, well." Thalia shrugs, Annabeth jumping from her shoulders, "we made an impromptu stop."

She nudges Annabeth, the little girl nervously hiding her hands behind her.

"Come on Annie, show him."

"Wait, you got me something ?" He asks them, "what's the occasion ?"

"Your birthday !" Annabeth states, "We got you a gift."

"Hum, sorry to disappoint kiddo but today isn't my birthday."

"Don't care, it will be now." She refutes, stomping her foot to close the argument.

He looks at Thalia, rather amused but also confused, only for her to shrug, like she couldn't care less.

"Well, I suppose that September 4th is not a bad birthday date."

Annabeth squeals and hands him what she's been hiding.

It's a ring, a plastic one she probably found in a shady looking store, with best big brother engraved on it.

"We don't have a birthday cake though," Thalia pipes up from where she's standing, looking at them with a fond look, "too hard to steal."

"S'okay, don't need one." He answers, still looking at the cheap ring.

It's the most precious thing he has on him now.

"Thank you Annie," he opens his arms to hug her, laughing when she throw herself in them, "you're the best little sister I will ever have."

They eat what Thalia stole while Annabeth got the ring, some sandwiches and cereal bars, and Luke makes a show about blowing out invisible candles, Annabeth urging him to make a wish.

I wish that we always stay together.

As long as we're together, nothing bad will happen to us.

Thalia with her braveness and strong will, with the lightning bolts dancing in her eyes whenever she's angry and with Aegis.

Annabeth, so young and yet smarter than them, always planning or devising some plan.

And him, keeping them alive by stealing food and drinks, using his powers to find them a house, his golf club doing the job when he needs to.

He watches Thalia shamelessly attacks Annabeth, tickling the little girl and they are both on the ground laughing.

They make him happy, his little sister and Thalia.

Happier than he's ever been.

He'll do anything to keep them by his side.

No matter the costs.

----------------------------------

They're running, have been for far too long.

His legs ache, feeling like giving out at every step.

"Come on, we're almost there !" Grover screams at them, urgently gesturing them to go faster.

Luke can see it, the hill in front of them.

Haven, salvation.

A chance to live, to do more than surviving.

Camp Half-Blood.

A place for all demigods like them to train, to learn of to defend themselves against the monsters trying to kill them.

It's almost there, it's within reach.

His feet slip on the wet ground but Thalia catches him before he can fall and he's running again.

"We aren't going to make it." She whispers and his ear, careful so that Annabeth doesn't hear it.

"We are, Thals, we are. We just need to-"

"GET DOWN !"

Annabeth's scream save the both of them, the tree trunk grazing their head before crashing in the dark forest.

"Get Annabeth, and run."

"And what are you-"

"I'll hold them off until you are up the hill."

"No, Thalia, I won't-"

"Do it for Annabeth, she can't get there by herself." Thalia's voice is firm but Luke can see her hands shaking.

She's afraid, afraid to die.

"Thalia-"

"They're getting closer, we need to go !" Grover yells, taking Luke's arm and tugging him.

"Thalia-" He tries again.

"Go. Take Annabeth and-" She wavers, her voice breaks.

For one second, she isn't the brave daughter of Zeus, ordering him like it is her birthright to do so.

She is Thalia, the girl Luke can't figure out his feelings for but know he can't lose her.

(When he looks back on that moment, he wonders if he could have persuaded her to run with them. But the second passes and he doesn't say anything.)

"Don't look back, don't look back until you are safe."

She grips Aegis, blue electrical eyes flashing in the night before she turns to face the monsters.

"I can't-"

"GO ! NOW !"

He runs, runs despite Annabeth trashing in his arms, begging him to stop, to come back to Thalia.

He runs until he's on the hill, looking at a valley straight out of Ancient Greece.

He runs until his body gives up, until he's throwing up and on the ground.

Thalia needs you, get up

He can see her, holding off the countless creatures attacking her, slowly retreating.

Help her, come on.

He shakily stands, Annabeth still crying next to him but Grover is now the one holding her.

Thalia is almost there, she's on the top of the hill.

A little more and she'll make it.

Below in the valley, demigods are running toward them, their weapons gleaming in the night, a centaur galloping full speed leading them.

Come on Thals, get closer and I can help-

When the cyclops' club hit her leg, sending her on the ground, leaving her at the mercy of all the others monsters, Luke screams.

His yells are entirely drowned in the sound of lighting shaking the sky, a bright flash blinding him for a moment.

When white becomes dark, there's a pine tree projecting a blue barrier all around Camp, preventing the angry herd of monsters from entering.

---------------------------------------------

He often goes sit besides the tree.

"Hey Thalia, it's been one month since we got here. I miss you."

"Hey Thals, I made some friends, a guy from Apollo named Lee and a girl from Aphrodite, Silena. They're nice but they're not you."

"One year, I can't believe you've gone that long. Annabeth is happy here, she's grown fond of Camp. I did too, I'm Counsellor now. Old one left and didn't come back."

"I'm tired Thalia, so tired. Hermes Cabin is crowded, the gods don't claim their kids. I'm angry, at my dad, at yours, at all of them. What good do they bring ?"

"Got a quest from dear old dad, can you believe it ? First time he contacted me since we arrived two years ago. And it's sucks, the quest has already been done by Heracles and... hum, I'm not sure to come back. It's a hard one, a very hard one. Annie is upset that I didn't chose her but I can't risk to lose her too. You were enough. Anyways, I have to go. I hope I'll see you again."

---------------------------------------

The quest in itself is simple.

Get an apple, come back alive.

Only the apple is a golden one from the Hesperides' Garden, guarded by Ladon.

But he comes back, alive.

He comes back with a open bleeding gash on his face, he comes back with ghosts on his shoulders, he comes back with a new hatred against the gods.

But he had no apple to present his father and the quest is deemed failed.

-----------------------------------------

"Hi again, do you ever get tired of me ?"

She doesn't respond, never does.

"I made it back, with no apple or the demigods I chose to come with me."

He leans against the trunk, trying desperately to feel her.

Luke is sixteen and he knows now that Thalia is more than a sister.

Nothing more than the rough bark meets his head.

"I prayed to him, begged him to save them. Nothing, not one single sign that he was listening."

"We were right to hate them, they don't care about us. We're pawns, their means of amusement when they get bored."

"I'm tired of it."

"Are you too ?"

The tree's branches sway with the wind.

"I'll find a way, don't worry."

As long as they were together, Luke was happy.

As long as he sees her tree, all he can feel is bitterness and fury against the gods who made her like this.

-----------------------------------------

It begins with whispers.

Incoherent buzzing in his mind while he sleeps, a voice rasping in his ear, murmuring about vengeance and justice.

Who are you ?

He's standing on broken glass, surround by a never ending red horizon.

Oh, little hero, my name is not to be pronounced by your kind.

Show yourself.

I will tolerate your insolence just this once little hero. Do not ever presume to order me again.

How can I respect you if I don't know who you are ?

So cunning, the voice laughs around him, echoing in his dream, just like his father.

I'm nothing like my father !

Oh ? the voice vibrates with amusement, do you wish to take revenge upon him ? Upon the gods who wronged you ?

I want them to respect demigods.

They never will, it is not in their nature.

Then, what ? I let them do whatever they want with us ?

No, little hero, you act.

How ?

Destroy them. Destroy Olympus.

Luke doesn't respond.

I sense doubt, weakness in you. Despite the countless times they prove their incompetence, you still believe in them.

I don't hold any love for the gods. I want to make them pay !

You cannot hide the truth from me, little liar. You are weak willed, tamed. You allows the gods to continue their reign of chaos and utter, unbridled depravity. But I sense your rightful anger, your desire to make a change.

Luke burns in shame and in anger at the voice's disgust for him.

You are wrong. I'll do whatever it takes to topple Olympus.

Then our interests align. Pledge yourself at my service and I shall help you bring justice to your beloved demigods.

Will they follow him ?

Renounce the gods.

Lee ? Silena ? Chris ? Connor and Travis ?

Let them face their mistakes, the consequences of their arrogance.

Do they share his point of view ?

Surely they do. They're like him, abandoned by their godly parent.

Serve me and I will help you in your quest of vengeance.

Annabeth.

Annabeth with her desire to make her mother proud.

Annabeth, his smart little sister, who looks at Chiron and sees a paternal figure.

But she saw Thalia die.

She saw how Hermes abandoned him.

She'll follow him.

And as long as they're together, they'll be fine.

I pledge myself to your service.

In front of him, a small golden piece appear, floating in the air.

Not quite, little hero.

Before his eyes appear a giant tomb, all grey except for the golden flake.

His breath hitches when he sees the gravures illustrating the rock.

A man eating a child, a scythe is his hand.

You're-

Kronos, King of the Titans, and father to the Olympians. Wrongfully killed by my sons, I have been prophesied to come back and raze Olympus.

The voice gets closer, now right in his ear.

And you, little hero, are the key to my awakening.

-------------------------------------

Times flies, Luke turns nineteen on September 4th.

He has long stopped celebrating his true birthday.

Annabeth grows anxious to see the mortal world, to get a quest, to prover herself worthy of her mother.

As for Luke, he spends his days recruiting, talking to demigods, trying to decipher their emotion toward the gods.

Lee is happy with Apollo.

Clarisse hates Ares but still fights for his name.

Silena is bitter against Aphrodite, for a reason she won't tell Luke. It's fine, he doesn't need to know as long as she joins him.

Chris, with his elvish features and uncanny knowledge of geography, is a son of Hermes. Yet, he remains unclaimed in his own cabin.

Those are the easier to persuade to join the cause, the unclaimed and the children of minor gods.

Ethan and Alabaster don't have cabins to house them.

Chris and Lila have given up trying to impress their parents a long time ago.

When he comes to them, they all say yes with absolute conviction.

----------------------------

The Winter Solstice, the only night demigods are invited to Olympus to see their parents and wander through the immortal city.

The only night Luke will accept his heritage as a son of Hermes and steal the Lighting Bolt of Zeus.

The King of the Gods is too busy drinking and flirting with nymphs to notice his weapon's absence.

For the first part of the night at least.

When thunder rumbles but not lighting strikes, Luke just got of Olympus, flying toward California.

He should already have arrived to Mount Tamalpais but he couldn't resist staying a little while, talking to other gods knowing he just robbed their King.

For his hubris, Ares catches him, the god of war almost killing him before Kronos took the matter in his own hands.

When he comes back to Camp that night, he suffers the most terrible nightmares he had since he was a child.

He sees Thalia dying over and over as he stands next to her while she begs him to help, to save her.

Stop this !

Your pride almost doomed us all and you ask no punishment ?

Please, I'll never do that mistake again.

He can't see her die again.

Please Master.

Stop your incessant whining, fool ! Despite your fault, Zeus still thinks Poseidon is the culprit.

But gods can't steal from each other, he'll find someone to blame, a mortal.

Wait and see, it has been set in motion.

What has been, my Lord ?

The Great Prophecy is upon us and she brings with her the downfall on the Olympians.

-------------------------------------

Are you sure of your choice, Master ?

Yes, the little hero is most fitting.

Percy Jackson has nothing of a hero.

He's a scrawny 12 years old boy, who just lost his mother and looks utterly out of place.

Until he douses Clarisse with water.

Until he beats him at sword fighting, when he is said the best sword-man in the last 300 years.

Until he single won against three Ares campers when they were for blood.

Until the hellhound Luke invoked attacks him and-

"All hail Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, the Earthshaker !"

A forbidden child.

A demigod fated to die only because of his father's name.

Percy is standing in front of him, looking at awe at the holographic trident above his head.

He is the chosen one, is he not ?

He will bring Olympus on its knees for me to crush it.

-------------------------

As expected, Percy is accused of being the lightning's thief and sent on a quest to retrieve it.

Annabeth volunteers but Luke is serene, there's no way Percy accept her as a quester, not with their parents' rivalry.

And yet, he finds himself wishing them goodbye on the top of the hill, at the both of them.

This quest is destined to fail, to start a war within Olympus.

"Good luck guys, come back safe and sound !"

Percy will fall into Tartarus, for Kronos to do what he plans with him but Annabeth and Grover will be back.

-------------------------

The deadline comes and the skies stay clear.

He failed, somehow he failed.

Percy, Annabeth and Grover come back, all glowing with pride for stopping in the war.

What do we do now ?

He hugs Annabeth, telling her how proud he is of her.

It's time for you to leave and assume full command of our forces.

He high-fives Grover and feign utter shock and regret and he tells him that the shoes almost dragged him into Tartarus.

We need Percy on our side and I'm sure he'll come.

Beware the little hero, he is as unpredictable as the sea in his veins.

He ruffles Percy's hair, jokingly asking him to teach him how he beat Ares.

What do I do if he refuses ?

Kill him.

He fights for a better world for demigods.

A world where demigods like Percy could live free from the gods' requests and whims.

Sacrifices are necessary, Castellan. You cannot make change without true acts.

Percy who looks at him with full trust.

Percy who is merely twelve years old.

Should I ask Alabaster to kill the child ?

No, I'll do it myself.

And Percy will join, Luke's sure of it.

If he doesn't, then he is part of the problem.

-------------------------

Percy refuses and Luke leaves him alone in the woods, only waiting for death to come.

Three hours later, Silena's report comes in and informs him that Percy Jackson is alive and that every body he is the lightning thief.

"Everybody on deck, now." He orders on the megaphone, waiting for all the demigods to assemble on Princess Andromeda's deck.

"There is a change of plans, Olympus is now aware of our rebellion but" he stops the hushes with his hand, "the King of the Gods is too stubborn too consider us a threat. He will ignore us as long as he can and since we all know he is a tyrant, nobody on Olympus will dare question him."

"Alabaster, you and Ethan are in charge of the army. Train them, make sure they master their powers and at least one weapon."

"Chris, you will scout for demigods, it is essential we find them before the satyrs do."

"Lila, you are in charge to communicate with our spy in Camp and then coordinate with me to know what kind of infos we need to know."

"As for the rest of you, try to reach your siblings, convince them to join us, to join the right side of this war."

He dismisses them, mindlessly twisting the ring on his leather necklace.

It's cheap ring, probably stolen in a shady store.

It was the most precious thing he had then and it is the most precious thing he has today.

I'm doing this for us Annie.

No matter how much it will hurt you, it is for you good.

When you understand and join me, we'll be together and everything will be fine.

[gurugirl]

Hi, idk really why I want to ask you this but sometimes I just feel so insecure about the fact I’m still a virgin at 23. I haven’t even kissed someone. I’ve always been so insecure about my looks that I’ve never wanted to get intimate with someone, and i know I’m not ugly but I just feel like now the fact I have never had anything makes me feel repulsive. I’ve been on dates but I’ve just never felt that interested in them? I like my alone time too and I feel like I can’t be bothered trying to force a relationship when I want to work on myself. I’m going travelling in 6 months for a year and I doubt I’ll meet someone when I’m travelling so I’ll be 25 almost when I come back and still a virgin. Is that bad? I know I should take things at my pace but I just feel like there must be something wrong with me if I don’t really want to with anyone I’ve met who’s been into me? What should I do?

I got wordy here so a read more was necessary ↓

Hi hon. I say this anytime someone asks me about having not met some milestone yet - but you still being a virgin at 23 really doesn't define you at all and it's not weird. I bet I could post a poll right now and ask who's still a virgin past the age of 23 and you'd see a lot more virgins than not. In fact, I just had a recent anon who is also 23 and a virgin (pretty sure I posted this ask yesterday - check the #ask tag on my blog if you'd like) so you're not alone. Not even close.

Milestones, especially something like when you should lose your virginity, should all be done away with. There's no timeline for something like that. And I'm sure you've heard it before but you definitely want to enjoy your first time having sex and do it with someone you trust and not force yourself to get it over with. While I think virginity is mostly just a social construct, it can be a big deal to us as individuals.

You aren't repulsive, there's nothing wrong with you, and you get to decide when and with whom you do have sex with. No one but you. I actually think you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You've gone on dates and have made the mature decision that you weren't that into the people you dated, you know you're someone who enjoys your alone time (me too hon), you already know better than to force a relationship (some people don't get this concept bc they're scared to be alone and by the time they realize what they've done it's too late), and you're about to go on a year-long travel which is huge and there would be so many people your age terrified to travel for a year. You're brave, adventurous, and smart.

I think you're way more amazing than you realize, just from this ask I can pick up how mature and emotionally intelligent you are. Don't compromise. You're doing absolutely amazing. And also don't discount yourself that you're not going to perhaps meet someone on your travels. Who knows what will happen? Maybe you'll still be a virgin after the year is up - but that's perfectly okay too. Be open to what could happen and keep doing what you're doing.

Also, it's going to benefit you to not talk badly about yourself. Start telling yourself how impressive and how unique you are. Do away with saying such negative things. Seriously. No more of that that! You're going to be just fine. Remember that you're still young, you're smart, and you're about to do something that most people in this world cannot say they've ever done, nor would they be brave enough to (enjoy wherever your travels take you!).

xoxo

[daydream-the-demon]

Claustrophobia

I might be claustrophobic.

Maybe not in the general sense though...

I feel claustrophobic because of the skin, muscles, organs, and everything that's covering me. I think that's why I always have that feeling to throw up, because I want to throw my physical self up away because I always feel claustrophobic.

I keep talking about wanting to throw up. I now have the answer to why.

I think that's a reason I am part of the queer community by being AroAce (because I physically can't stand the physicality of people, and myself), but being Fictoromantic/sexual (because I tend to like the mind and not the physicality). And why I am Xenogender/Genderless because I don't identify with human norms.

I realized I'm scared, no, absolutely TERRIFIED of humans, human norms, human constructs, EVERYTHING.

Also, I realized I had a God Complex. And technically? I'm not wrong. From my perspective, NOTHING exists. I have no proof! I have no proof other people have the same mental capabilities as me. I have no proof ANYTHING exists! It's all fake!

If I were to kill myself, none of you, NONE OF YOU WOULD EXIST.

I realized this is why I'm suicidal. I don't want to mentally destroy myself, no! I want to live forever in that sense! I want to create art and stories and keep on living. I want my myself to be immortalized.

But what fears me, what destroys my whole image, the thing I want to get rid of, is my physical self. I can't stand being trapped like this, feeling so many things that I don't want to. Emotions are chemicals in the brain produced by the physical self, and I try my best not to feel them.

I just feel... wrong.

I dealt with a lot of derealization, depersonalization, and maladaptive daydreaming problems. And I may just have found the reason why. Because I CAN'T STAND my physical self, so I end up leaving, feeling detached and better off in the mental world.

I don't think it's "normal" to be claustrophobic about engaging in basic human functions such as eating, drinking, sleeping, speaking, and everything else.

A lot of things have been explained as soon as I realized my claustrophobia of the real realm.

I just don't belong here, not like this at least.

And I don't know how my Autism plays into this but I KNOW something about all of this is related in SOME SORT of way.

I remember from a young age I felt this.

Why must I have existential crises, every second?

I want to throw up.

I want to bash my skull against a wall.

Everything feels so... wrong.

Something's not right.

I feel insane.

[harleybeaumont]

Never Have I Ever

Chapter 21 - Let's Just Forget the World

Book- TRR

Series- Never Have I Ever

Pairings- Bertrand x MC 

Chapter Synopsis- Bertrand has a surprise for Riley.

Chapter Warnings- language, drinking, innuendo -but mostly this is a fluffy chapter

Rating - Mature

Word Count- 1,830

A/N - once again, sorry it's been a while since I've posted a chapter. I included a snippet of what happened in chapter 20 to refresh your memory.

A/N 2- submitting for @choicesprompts flufftober event

Song Inspiration - this song is absolutely perfect for this chapter and gives me all the feels. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

_____________________________________________________________

When they arrived back at the estate, it was already dinner time. Riley quickly popped into Max’s bedroom to check on him, and found him sound asleep in bed.

“I’m starving.” Riley sighed as she made her way toward the kitchen, taking a seat beside Bertrand at the bar.

“What would you like to eat? The chef has left for the night, but I can call and have something delivered for you.”

“Anything.. But you pick! I am mentally drained and honestly don’t think I could make another decision tonight if my life depended on it.”

Bertrand opened his mouth to protest, but paused as an idea hit him. “I know just the thing,” he smiled shyly and pulled out his phone.

He was going to have to step way out of his comfort zone for this. 

Chapter 21- Let’s Just Forget the World

After half an hour of bustling around the estate, Bertrand was finally ready to let Riley into his room to show her what he had been working on. He paused outside of the closed bedroom door nervously, starting to have second thoughts. “Why don’t we just go out and pick up dinner instead?”

“Nuh-uh. I have got to see what you’ve been up to. Now let me in.. before I make you,” she smirked teasingly, tracing her fingers down the front of his chest.

Bertrand sucked in a sharp breath and a shiver ran down his spine at her touch. There was no way he could say no to her. He had already accepted that fact. “Alright,” he grinned, reluctantly stepping aside.

He slowly swung the door open and Riley gasped, throwing her hand over her mouth. “Bert..” Her eyes began welling up with tears as she stepped toward the sitting area of his bedroom which had been converted into a blanket fort, with pizza, wine, and pillows on the floor. Fairy lights, which she was pretty sure he got from Max, were laid across the top of the blankets, casting a warm glow around the room. 

Bertrand watched her face with a mixture of hope and apprehension. He had never done anything so ridiculous or sentimental for anyone before and it was terrifying. “I.. I just thought that-”

Riley immediately engulfed him in a hug, squeezing tightly and burying her face in his chest. She sniffled and when she pulled back she was grinning ear to ear. “You did this?”

“I.. Yes.”

“You, Bertrand Beaumont, made a blanket fort.. for us?”

He felt his cheeks heat up and he opened his mouth, not sure what to say. “If you don’t like it, we can go to a nice restaurant or something!”

“This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me!” She wrapped her arms around him again, squeezing tightly. “I’m so touched that you would share such a special family tradition with me. Thank you.” 

He grinned, shocked that she recalled the story he told her about he and Maxwell doing this with their mother when they were young. “You remember?”

“Of course I do! I remember everything you say, Bert.” She laughed at his skeptical smile, “I mean, most things. I’m sorry I can’t remember things like King Leopold’s favorite goldendoodle’s middle name.. but when it comes to you, I remember everything.”

He chuckled as his cheeks pinkened, “You’re just flattering me.”

“I’m not, but I accept your flattery.”

The two sat beside one another under the blanket canopy and Bertrand poured them a glass of wine while Riley placed a slice of pizza on each of their plates. She was absolutely radiating excitement and Bertrand couldn’t tear his eyes away from her.

“What?” She grinned in his direction before taking a sip from her glass.

Bertrand shook his head, chuckling. “Nothing.”

“Are you laughing at me?!”

“I am not. I’m just..I just feel..”

He looked away shyly and she took his hand. “Feel what?”

He met her eyes. “Happy.”

Her heart swelled and she rubbed her thumb across the back of his knuckles. “Me too.”

Bertrand looked up at the blanket draped over their heads, grinning thoughtfully. “This is the silliest thing I have ever done in my entire life, but I cannot imagine anything else I’d rather be doing right now.” 

Riley laced her fingers with his and squeezed. “Me too.”

Once they were full of pizza and wine, they lay on their backs in companionable silence. Riley turned to face him. “So what should we do now?”

“Are you ready for bed?” He yawned, “I’m afraid I had a bit too much wine and my eyelids are getting heavy.”

“No way! I have a tipsy Bertrand Beaumont in a blanket fort.. We have to do something fun.”

“Oh?” His mouth went dry as he pictured what type of fun she had in mind.

“Let’s play a game!”

“Oh.” He realized that he sounded way too disappointed, and tried to correct that. “Alright, what did you have in mind?”

She leaned closer and grinned. “What about, never have I ever?”

He gulped, “I uh.. I believe we’ve played that one before.”

Riley rolled onto her back, a light-hearted laugh escaping her. Her eyes traced the intricate pattern and stitching of the quilt that rested over the chair backs, forming the ceiling of their blanket fort. She couldn’t hold back a smile as she continued to gaze straight up, too overcome with emotion to even glance at the man beside her. She could feel his eyes on her and hear his steady breathing, and she closed her eyes, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne.. Subtle notes of bergamot and sandalwood and the natural pheromones on his skin that both comforted her and drove her wild. 

Her heart was bursting from the unbelievable feeling of normalcy, contentment, and utter joy she felt just laying beside him.  

“Never have I ever.. Done anything like this before.”

“Like what?” Bertrand asked.

“Blanket forts! Camping on the bedroom floor.. None of that.”

Bertrand smiled, “I suppose you got me there. For once, there’s something I’ve done that you haven't.”

Riley laughed, and Bertrand sat up slightly and took a sip of his wine. He lay back down, thinking for a moment before grinning. “Never have I ever.. received a gift on Valentine’s day.”

Riley’s mouth dropped open. “Never? Not even from a little secret admirer in school or anything? I find that hard to believe.”

“Nope. Go ahead and drink,” he nodded to her glass of wine. “I’m certain you have received loads of Valentine’s gifts.”

Riley took a sip of her wine and shook her head. “I’ve had a few. Not for a while, but..”

“So what were your best and worst Valentine's gifts?”

“Oof, that’s a tough one,” she groaned with a smile. “The worst was probably from a boyfriend I had in highschool. He gave me a bouquet of fake daisies that were missing half of the flowers from the stems. And inside the middle was a jewelry box. But when I opened it, there was just a condom inside.”

Bertrand made a face. “Wow. That is.. quite a presumptuous gesture.”

“One that got him nowhere,” she rolled her eyes. “The best Valentine’s gift was probably when I was in elementary school. This cute little boy with curly hair, Jordan McCall.. He gave me a plastic ring he had won at the arcade and a bunch of wildflowers he picked from his yard.” She turned toward Bertrand with a smile. “It’s the thoughtful things that mean the most, you know? Something that you put your heart into.”

Bertrand smiled at her for a long moment, but feeling like he had been staring too long, he cleared his throat and looked away. “Um, it’s your turn.”

Riley tapped a finger against her lips in thought. “Ok. Never have I ever.. had sex with my brother’s best friend.”

Bertrand’s mouth dropped open and his face flushed bright red. “Riley!”

She couldn’t stop her laughter and handed him his glass. “Drink up!”

He took a sip, unable to meet her eyes while a small smile pulled at his lips. “That was a cheap shot.”

“I came to win!” Riley nudged him and grinned, “Besides, I can’t help it. I love making you blush.”

“I'm glad that my humiliation amuses you.”

She rolled onto her side to face him and put a hand on his arm. “It’s cute. It totally gives me butterflies.”

Bertrand blushed deeper and looked away as butterflies of his own swarmed his insides. He tried to change the subject. “So, I suppose we’re tied.”

“Not for long,” Riley smiled cheekily. “You’re going down, Beaumont.”

“Oh really?”

“Really! Hit me with your best shot.”

Bertrand thought for a moment before a confident smirk alit his face.  “I definitely have you now Ms. Brooks. Get ready to take a drink. Never have I ever.. had sex with someone because I felt bad for them.”

Riley met his eyes with confusion and she shook her head. “Never.”

Bertrand arched an eyebrow skeptically. “What do you mean? What about.. You know..” He gestured at himself.

Riley’s heart sank. Had he thought this the entire time? “No, Bertrand. That’s not why I- no, never.”

His mind was racing as he asked, “Then.. why?”

Riley chewed the inside of her cheek, trying not to cross the line they had been tiptoeing toward for the last couple months. Screw it. “Bert, I had sex with you because I wanted to. I wanted you.”

His jaw dropped and he was nearly rendered speechless. “You- really?” Like, you really actually wanted to- not as a lesson, but like- really?”

Now it was Riley's turn to blush for once. She hugged her knees to her chest and smiled shyly. “Yes.”

Bertrand stared straight ahead, mind reeling. The silence between them stretched, neither knowing what to say now. 

Riley took a deep breath and reached out, grasping his hand. She looked directly into his eyes as she spoke. “Never have I ever.. told someone that I was in love with them.”

Bertrand released a breath, his eyes searching her face for a few moments. He was certain his heartbeat was loud enough for the entire duchy to hear.

Bertrand rested his hand against her cheek, swiping his thumb gently across her bottom lip. His eyes were full of a deep longing and affection she had never seen from anyone before. 

“Riley..” he breathed out softly and pressed his lips against hers, cradling her face with his hands. The kiss was tender, yet passionate and nothing like anything they had ever shared before. He lay her back against the soft pillows and blankets on the floor, relishing in the fact that it was really Riley kissing him. Her perfect, soft, gorgeous lips were actually against his. She had wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her, and as unbelievable as that was, it was amazing and perfect. Bertrand was so overcome with emotion, he thought he might burst. 

They broke apart after a few moments, and Riley leaned forward giving him one more soft kiss before snuggling up to his side and resting her head on his shoulder. Bertrand wrapped his arm around her, resting his hand against her lower back and tracing soft circles with his fingers. The minutes stretched on as the two lay together on his bedroom floor. 

“Riley.. I.. really need to tell you something.” Bertrand murmured softly. When she didn’t respond, he raised his head slightly to look at her. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and steady. She was sound asleep in his arms and everything was right with the world. Heart in his throat, he kissed her head and whispered. “I love you.”

[spikedru]

Hey hi hello excuse me I saw your post about how buffy and drusilla are dark mirrors of one another and it got me to thinking about dru, and how she would have made an incredible slayer. (In the same way that buffy as a vamp would be genuinely terrifying) Like part of me absolutely thinks that her potential slayerness is a part of what drew angel to her. idk it’s a thing I can’t un-think now—what do you think? (also please to excuse me if drusilla having been a slayer in waiting is common knowledge, it’s been a while since I looked in on btvs in general—tho now I am kind of feeling like trying on a rewatch).

whether or not drusilla was a potential slayer is mostly a fanon idea, and while i think it could be an interesting way to parallel dru and buffy, i dont really place a lot of stock into that theory! i dont think that drusillas destiny had anything to do with being a slayer, but more along the lines of cordelia and her visions, someone chosen by the powers that be to divine the future in order to help others. i think her destiny is as a saint. and i dont think angelus had really any interest in the slayer before meeting buffy tbh! spike is the one who is consistently fixated on slayers. so angelus' interest in drusilla is all about his ego. and a lot about drusillas turning and subsequent relationship to angel/us is very heavily based in her christianity. drusilla seeking refuge in her faith because she is scared her powers make her evil, only for her saftey in her faith to be corrupted and defiled by angelus. like if i remember right angelus was torturing drusilla and then fucked darla right in front of her while they were all in a church. she was going to be a nun! i think for angelus it was more of an ego trip to take a young woman who had such faith in her god, destroy her mind and sanity until he becomes her god instead. and by turning her into a demon it would then subsequently justify her fears of being evil because she is now directly harmed by the symbols of her faith (crosses, holy water).

tldr i dont really think dru was a potential i think she was a saint!

[psychologicalwarclaire]

I was researching cottonmouth snakes because I was bored

Did that have anything to do with how accurate Viper was when slicing Leo's face and how fast she is in the arena? Or is she just that good?

Also, it says that they're very venomous, and yet I don't remember Viper ever biting them. Does she reserve that for other opponents, or is it because Big Mama wanted him alive, or does she not have venom due to being a mutant, or something else?

Also, I find it interesting how cottonmouths also usually have stripes by their eyes

I can't stop thinking about how she did that to Leo just because she wanted to. There has to be some sort of motivation to do that, right? Was she the snake in that splinter pov chapter from the flashback? Is that what started her nexus campaign, being turned down by her idol Lou Jitsu, or fueled why she did that to Leo? Or did she just wake up one day and decide "you know what, I'm going to become a creepy battle nexus fighter and slice kid's faces open for fun"?

(I was also trying to think of questions because I know how good it feels to be asked about something you're passionate about so I might just be grasping at straws lol. And Viper is terrifying but so very interesting too.) Anyway hope you're doing well :)

Hello! It makes my day to have someone send something that shows that they're thinking about my fic.

Viper was that accurate because she was just that good. She's been fighting in the Nexus since Lou Jitsu was there, so over sixteen years; she knows what she's doing.

The only time Viper tried to bite someone in the fic was when she attempted to bite Raph in chapter 20. She definitely has venom, and should she try to use it, it would be extremely deadly. You are absolutely right that Big Mama instructed Viper to never bite the twins because she wanted them alive. Viper used to use her venom on opponents, but it made the fights boring because they were over so quickly. Viper loves to toy with her victims, and Big Mama wants interesting fights. It's a win win for her to use... other means.

They have stripes by their eyes??? That's... deliciously ironic >:)

Okay, here's the thing: YES, Viper was the snake in the flashback. She was just starting out in the Nexus and as a young rookie, she was doing very poorly. That moment with Lou Jitsu fundamentally changed her. His moment of cruelty (and also his advice) festered. From then on she was more vicious, ruthless, and violent, working her way up to being one of the best in the Nexus. As far as Viper knew, there was no connection between Lou Jitsu and this Astros fellow. She just saw a rookie doing a great job and specifically requested to fight him because she enjoys beating people down. The only reason she chose to fight Leo instead of Donnie is because cottonmouths are natural predators of red eared sliders. Her attack on Leo was planned; she knew exactly what she would do because she wanted to make an impact of this grinning, fresh-faced little child. Viper is just Like That. There was no personal vendetta against Leo.

Fun fact, in early drafts of chapter nine, Viper had a personal thing against Leo. She was going to be getting revenge on him for something, maybe Krang related. But in the end, I decided it was scarier and more haunting to have her cause such horrific pain for no reason other than she wanted to.

Thank you so much for your questions! I love talking about Viper because she is so fun for me to write

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

can you do part 2 to the Kenny omega Babies piece where the Reader is watching one of Kenny Aew match or at an Aew paper view in person or is either at Reader and Kenny Home in NORTH CARRROLLINNNAAAA. And the reader ends up going into Labor but Kenny ends up making it to see either his Baby boy or Baby Girl born and the golden elite come to visit after the baby is born?

Babies Part 3

Main Masterlist Kenny Omega Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Summary: Your ringside for The Elite VS JAS VS HOB for the trios titles in Winnipeg when you go into Labor. 

Word count: 1565

Just about everyone advised me not to go to Winnipeg for Dynamite due to the fact that there was a really high possibility that I could go into labor during the show. Being the stubborn person I am, I refused and was determined to be there. I was so angry that I couldn't make it to AEW’s first ever show in Canada nonetheless in my home town of Toronto because of the whole suspension thing. Even though I was not suspended it was recommended that I also stay away for a while. Now we are in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada, and I am so excited to be a part of the show, even if it is just me being ringside for the boys match. 

I was sitting in hair and makeup getting ready for the show when Shannon, one of the costume designers approached me. 

“Hey Mama, how’s it going” Shannon said excitedly as she approached me

“Hi Shan, I’m doing alright for the most part. I feel huge” I said pointing down to my baby bump

“Hey now, don’t be so mean to bumpy. I can’t wait to meet that little girl. You and Kenny are going to be great parents!” 

“Oh yeah? I’m not too sure about that one. She could come any day and I’m literally terrified. I can hardly take care of myself let alone a little human baby!” 

“Please Y/N, You will be a great mother. I see how you treat the young talent here. You are like a second mother to them” 

“That’s different, yes they are my babies but they are 18 to early 20s. That is a big difference to a newborn child! Before you  cut me off, yes I know that I treat AEW as my baby but it is my baby. You have been here since day one girl. You know I would do absolutely anything for this company. You remember how hard it was in the beginning!” 

“I remember very well Y/N! But that is not why I’m here. I came here to give this to you” Shannon said as she handed me a gift bag with tissue paper sticking out of the top

When I opened the gift I was shocked to see a matching set of ring gear to the ones the boys would be wearing tonight

“Shan!!! You shouldn't have!” 

“Yes I should, do you like it?” 

“I love it!!! The real question is, is it going to fit me?”

“It should fit, If not I can make a quick fix if needed. I thought you would like something cute to wear tonight!” Shannon said with the largest smile on her face! 

“Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me!” 

XXX

When I put on the gear I was shocked to see that it fit like a glove. The white and silver bodysuit hugged my curves perfectly, surprisingly making my baby bump look flattering.  The matching Jacket put the whole outfit together perfectly although I did swap out the boots for my Dior Jordans. No way was my swollen ankles were  going to get into the boots. 

Once I was all ready I headed over to the Elite locker room to show​​ Tyson and The Bucks my new outfit. 

*knock knock knock*

“Come in!” Nick yelled through the door

When I opened the door I was greated by Tyson, Hangman and both Matt and Nick! 

“Hi, everyone!” I said

“Jesus christ Y/N!!!” Kenny said, almost in disbelief 

“Do you like it?” I asked

“Like it, I love it!!! How did you get this?” 

“Shannon surprised me with it!” 

“Of course she did” Matt said, interrupting our conversation “She’s the best isn’t she Y/n!” 

“She really is Matt! How is everyone feeling? Ready for tonight?” I asked felling a bit of tension in the room

“Yeah, we are great! I’m honestly just a bit nervous” Kenny admitted 

After being friends for 14 years and together for the past 10 I knew by now that Kenny does not get nervous EVER. Not even when main eventing the tokyo dome. To him that was just another match. So I knew that although Kenny might not be nervous Tyson was. It was strange, normally he was Kenny Omega 24/7, and only few were granted the wish to use his government name but I could see that I wasn’t talking to Kenny Omega, this was Tyson Smith. 

XXX

A couple of hours have passed and it’s now time for the main event! 

The Elite Consisting of Kenny, Nick and Matt VS the team of the house of black consisting of Malachi Black, Brody King and Buddy Matthews VS The Jericho Appreciation Society consisting of Chris Jericho, Sammy Guevara and Daniel Garcia. A match for the trios titles that The Elite had just lost a few weeks ago to HOB at revolution. 

I was waiting backstage for the cue to make our entrance to Carry on Wayward son when I was greeted with a worried Tyson. That is when I figured out just why he was so nervous. 

“I really don’t think this is a good idea Y/N” Kenny said nervously pacing around the small area 

“What’s not a good idea?” I said, unsure just what he was referring to

“You being ringside for this match!”

“Why not? Everyone knows that I'm pregnant and will be careful not to run into me. Plus I can look out for myself. I will be fine, I think you forgot I am also a wrestler.” 

“No it’s not that”

“What? It’s not I will go into labor during the match” I said

Tyson said nothing he just gave me that look

“I will be fine, promise, ok?”

“Alright, I love you Y/N” 

“I love you too Tyson” 

XXX

The match was going great, The pop from the crowd when I made the surprise appearance with the Elite almost made me cry. I feel like they were almost more excited to see me than the boys. I did my usual interference and interactions with the crowd when I felt an abnormally hard kick to my stomach. Then I felt it, hot liquid running down my legs. I looked over to Brandon Cutler who was also ringside, filming for BTE when I whispered “I think my water just broke” 

I looked down to see the pool of fluid on the ground and when I looked up I made eye contact with Kenny who looked like he saw a ghost. 

I heard some people in the crowd gasp when it happened, almost everyone in the ring having the same reaction as Kenny. Thankfully Kenny wasn’t in the match when it happened so I was able to tell him that I was ok and that I would stay ringside until the match was over. And boy did those 20 minutes feel like the longest 20 minutes of my life. 

Once the match was finished I went to the backstage doctors who told me I should go to the hospital since I was in active labor. Me being the stubborn person I am, I refused. I wanted to stay until they taped rampage, since The Elite was booked to have a little speech after the taping to thank the crowd and have a little celebration For Kenny and Jericho. Tony Khan told me to forget about it and that I should really go to the hospital. I was getting tired of everyone telling me that but I was determined to stay. “If I have this baby backstage then I have it backstage!” I told a frustrated Kenny Omega. “ I am staying, end of story” 

Somehow I managed to make it through an extra 3 hours before we finally made it to the hospital. The celebration went well and in between some pretty nasty contractions I let the crowd know that I did indeed go into labor during the match! 

When I arrived at the hospital I was not alone. Tyson, Matt, Nick, Hangman, Adam Cole, Britt Baker and Matt’s wife Dana insisted on coming with us. Although it was weird at first I didn’t mind having my best friends with me. Although it was a bit of a sticky situation having this baby in Winnipeg it wasn’t all that bad. Kenny and I had a house in Toronto which was only about 2 and a half hrs by plane and due to the fact we would have an infant it would take around 20-24 hrs to drive. Kenny and I also both had family that lived in Winnipeg including Kenny’s parents who were kind enough to let us stay with them for a bit before we could get back home. 

I ended up having a natural birth due to my fear of needles and it was probably the worst decision I made in my life. The amount of pain I was in was insane but in the end it would be worth it. Tyson was scared, understandable so and so was I. 

Tyson, Britt and Dana were all there with me when I gave birth to my daughter. Tyson and I decided on the name Violet for our baby girl. She was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen in my life. To make things better I was surrounded by my best friends. 

[aintgonnatakethis]

writing share tag!

Rules: Share a snippet of writing, no matter how long.

Tagged by @fortunatetragedy ❤️️

Tagging: @annwayne @bagheerita @autism-purgatory @wyked-ao3 @wolgerrswraith + open

It's a proven fact that there's nothing Telford loves more than Rush finding new and inventive ways to insult him...

"He passed his physical when he came here," Young insisted. "Just like you did. Bloods, every scan known to man. Fuck, they even sequence our DNA." That was news to Rush, who had admittedly not read much of the paperwork the programme had given him to sign. If it hadn't been related to his work, he'd deemed it unimportant when he'd finished reading the first page detailing the secrecy requirements he would now be operating under and flipped to the second only to find page two-of-forty-five staring back at him. He hadn't even bothered to fake a veneer of interest when faced with his medical disclosure forms before signing them. The only thing he remembered about the following tests was the pitiful paper hospital gown he'd been provided with for the duration, and how the damn thing wouldn't stay closed. "And there were no aberrations?" "Nothing--" Young started only to cut himself off as Telford lifted a hand and grasped angrily at his wrist. "Sorry, sorry." Young placed the backs of his fingers against Telford's forehead, letting out a soft displeased noise. "What exactly was the point of keeping me here if you weren't going to consent to tell me anything?" Rush demanded. "To make sure…" Telford just about managed, sounding extremely worse for wear, "you know… if you tell… anyone… I'll kill you." "Absolutely terrifying," Rush deadpanned. "I think you might have a hairball."

[igotanidea]

Third: Dean winchester x fem!reader

Summary/request: a witch cast a spell on Y/N and Sam Winchester and put them in alternate universe where Y/N confronts her male counterpart in the form of Dean Winchester.

thank you for this @yourlocalloser-core! hope you'll like it :D

***

The last thing she could remember was some dust being thrown into her face and loosing consciousness. It felt like the freaking Sandman came for her himself, but she was a grown up adult not believing in a silly childish tale. Angels, demons, wendigos, shapeshifters? Sure, absolutely.

But Sandman? Pff! No way in hell.

It took her a few minutes to get back to reality and not without effort, with pounding in her head she sat up on the bed.

“SAM!?” she cried out not seeing her younger brother anywhere and feeling fear creeping in. “Sammy!!”

“Y/N?!” Sam busted in through the door of the motel, ready to pounce at whatever supernatural being his sister might be facing. “What happened?”

“No idea…. “ she muttered grabbing her plaid shirt, feeling sudden chill. “But something’s not right…… What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I think we were dealing with a witch?”

“Oh, right, a witch. That would explain the dizziness from the spell. Must have been a young one, the older are usually more capable with casting them. You good Sam?”

“I’m fine. Wondering where we are though.”

“I hope it’s not like the Thursday again situation. Don’t think I can handle it once more.”

She was obviously joking but the reality was about to turn out much much worse than that.

When the door to their motel room opened, both Sam and Y/N grabbed their guns instinctively, learned by years and years of experience in the hunting business. No one could blame them after confrontation with a witch and waking up with the weird feeling in their guts.

“WHOA! Wow! Hold the fire!” the man who walked in (or rather tried to walk in) seemed surprised by two gats aimed at him. He raised his hands in surrender, but even though he looked harmless, both of the sibling knew better then to fall for the masks. “

“who the hell are you?” Y/N asked with her most stern and terrifying voice.

“Well hello to you….” The man smirked looking her up and down “Sammy, you could have told me you got a girl over. I would have knocked.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, not bother at all by the man’s wondering eyes. If anything she only smirked, waiting for the situation to develop.

“knocked huh?” she teased “wonder on what?”

“What’s your name, pretty one?” the man took a few steps closer, clearly trying to flirt with her

“wouldn’t you like to know, handsome?” she easily mimicked his tone

“I’m Dean.”

“And I didn’t ask.”

“Well such a shame, since now you’re gonna remember it.”

“Oh, am I?” she smiled innocently , fluttering her eyelashes. Once she was sure she got Dean’s full attention she reached towards her belt, grabbed the tiny bottle of holy water and poured it all over him.

“What the hell?!” he yelled in frustration. This was not what he was expecting, even though he probably should have been more careful. 

“What the hell you?!”

“Why did you splay me with holy water?!”

“Cause I don’t have any salt on me!” she screamed back at him.

“Salt?! What…..?! I’m not a demon!!”

“Then what are you!?”

“I’m human!!”

“And I don’t believe you!”

“Sam!” Dean yelled looking at him brother “tell this crazy girl who I am. Cause damn, you are as crazy as you are hot lady.”

“Sam!” Y/N yelled at her brother in the same way “do you know this crazy lunatic?”

“Whoa! Who do you call lunatic!”

The scene that was unravelling in front of Sam’s eyes was truly western-like. Y/N and Dean were standing in front of each other, eyeing the other with crinkled eyes, with a power position stand and clearly neither of them were going to surrender easily, let alone trust that the other was in fact, human and not supernatural being. The only thing that was missing was some fight-like background music.

“Well… I….um….” Sam stuttered, twisting his face, knowing better than to interfere. Just a glance at the pair made him realise that they were awfully similar in both behaviour and even in the dressing. And he already had a working theory of what was going on. “I think…..” he tried to say, but no one was paying attention to him anymore.

 “I’m gonna ask you once more” she hissed “who the hell are you?!”

“So your boyfriend didn’t introduce you to the family?” Dean smirked

“What the fuck now?! What boyfriend!? ”

“Oh, Sammy, you didn’t tell her I’m your brother? I’m deeply hurt.”

“Brother!?” Sam and Y/N frowned at the words and Dean did not like it.  Only now he realised that something was going on.

“What the hell? Sammy? Don’t you remember me?”

“I don’t know you, man.”

“You don’t…. know me?” Dean stuttered a bit, brokenness creeping on his face. If his own little brother did not remember him than… than…. “shit!” he gasped, tangling fingers in his hair and ruffling them in desperation.

“Wait….” Y/N looked at him, recognising the gesture. Dean ruffled his hair in a very distinctive way, with his thumb sticking out. And so it happened that she knew it so well because she used to do it in the very same way. “I think….. Oh, shit…. Sam?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it … possible that….we’re in the alternate universe….?” The girl frowned. ”you know… that witch.”

“alternate what….?” Dean spun around looking at her with suspiciousness in her eyes, not realising a single thing of the silly metaphysics topic they were now talking about.

“Well…..”

“Dean.”

Before Y/N had a chance to open her mouth and formulate an answer, the sudden deep voice coming from behind the back made her jump.

Yeah, she should have been used to it at this point, but Castiel, the angel of the lord, was extremely resistant when it came to basic knowledge about human-like behaviour. And if she wasn’t in the very complicated relationship with him, she would lash out. (she could still remember meeting him for the first time and explaining the ‘personal space’ concept to him. The memory was way funnier than the real life event, since again Castiel was very obstructive).

Her first instinct upon seeing him, was to run to him, hide in his arms and act like everything was normal, like he was, quite literally, her guardian angel, and everything was going to be fine. It’s been a while since she saw him and the longing took the toll. She might have been a hunter and a Winchester, but on the other hand she was also a girl, and the family business was not easy on her. Being the oldest one, taking care of her brother, saving people, hunting things. She never ever complained, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, but it was ….. hard.  And when Castiel showed up in her life, due to some crazy occurrences in her crazy as shit life she was...

Well it was hard to describe how she felt since it was pretty much a mix of everything, starting from shock at the existence of angels, ending on being flustered whenever he was around. And yes, she fell hard. And fast. Like never before. Castiel and Sam were the only constants she had in her life, so no one could blame her internal struggling.

“Hello Cass….” She whispered expecting frowned eyes, tilted head and confused look.

“Hello Y/N”

Now that was surprising. He knew who she was?

“You don’t belong here.”

“No… No I guess I don’t. Neither me nor Sam. Can you send us back though? I kinda miss the you in my verse…..”

“I can’t.”

“Oh…..” she looked down.

“But I know someone who can.”

“Oh?” she looked up now, cursing herself internally. She was supposed to be the strong older sibling and right now she was acting like a silly teenager waiting for someone to tell her what to do.

“Let’s go.” Cass commanded, obviously keeping the details of the plan to himself. He walked out the door followed suit by Sam, who didn’t even look at his sister, making her feel heavily betrayed. She stayed back still trying to wrap her head around it all and apparently so was Dean.

“Are you in love with him or something?” the man smirked looking at his female counterpart mockingly

“Shut up!” she hissed

“I don’t understand how’s that possible. I could never do something like that. Maybe we’re not so similar after all.”

(poor Dean…. He was in for a huge future surprise).

***

Apparently the person Castiel was referring to as the one who could help was no one else but Bobby. So the plan was to get back to his place, cast some backwards spell and send Y/N and Sam back to their reality.

Easy as it was.

Right?

RIGHT?!

Yeah, well, not really.

“You’re not driving mycar!”

“Yourcar?! Back off my baby!” Dean practically jumped in front of Y/N, preventing her from getting her hands on the steering wheel.

“Move.” She hissed. The car topic was not something to be joked about.

“No.”

“Then I’ll move you.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“I’m not joking.”

“And I’m really scared of you.” He rolled his eyes.

“From what I heard you were scared of a cat once?” she smirked

“You little….!”

This would probably go on and on and on if it wasn’t for Sam who stepped in, acting like the only adult in the room, putting them on the backseat, separated by Cas and took the driver’s place himself.

No one was happy about it.

Cas had a wet cat face expression, probably wishing he could just poof away, but due to some inexplicable empathetic instinct unable to leave Sam alone with those two.

Dean and Y/N were looking like kindergarteners put in the corner as some sort of punishment with their arms crossed and giving each other evils.

Sam was forced to listen on tones of good advice and constructive criticism coming from the owner(s) of impala, cause apparently he didn’t know shit about driving.  But honestly being a younger sibling comes with developing the ability to not give a shit about older one opinion and approach so as long as they left him out of it and kept fighting each other he was quite content in his position, smirking under the nose and observing the situation.

At some point it got quite funny since they were, arguing about everything starting from the pie flavour, ending on proper technique on fighting supernatural beings. The road to Bobby’s was long enough that they pretty much shared their whole life stories, picking up on the bad, ambiguous jokes and innuendos.

“You two are so alike…” Sam chuckled shaking his head in disbelief

“We’re not!” they yelled in unison.

“Oh, you so are.” The younger Winchester repeated this time openly laughing.

“That’s betrayal Sam!” Y/N kicked his seat from behind “he’s nothing more than my copycat!”

“copycat?! You are in  my timeline sweetheart.”

“call me sweetheart again and ….”

“and what will you do…..?”

“enough!” Sam hit the break hard making the impala stop violently, sending all the passengers flying forwards.

“son of  a bitch!” they cried out in unison again, terrified at what their brother was doing to the car. A second later their gazes met.

“Stop using my words!”

“Those are mine!”

“Oh, I’m sorry did you copyright them?”

“Did you?”

“Screw you, Winchester!”

“No, screw you, Winchester!”

“Say it again, I dare you.”

*Poof*

“See what you did?!”

“What did I do?!”

“You made Castiel lose his shit and poof himself!”

“It doesn’t really take much to make him do that, right?”

“And yet, you did it.”

“Did not!”

“Oh God….” Sam sighed deeply, resuming the driving, praying to whatever angel, demon or jinn was listening that he could take example of Cas and disappear from the car.”

***

“Idiots!” Bobby hissed the second the impala parked in front of his house. Obviously they called him from the road briefly explaining what happened, keeping the details to himself, preparing him for what was coming and warning to not use the riffle.

His words were harsh but he was as close to father as the Winchesters could possibly have so no one was offended or hurt because of that.

“Hi Bobby.” Y/N greeted him with the tiny smile.

“You’re a new face.”

“I wonder why does it have to be me? Why couldn’t it be Sam?” the girl scoffed.

“Me what?” her brother frowned

“I mean, it could have been you not existing in this universe. How would that feel? No one knowing you? Recognising you? Treating you only like an alternate version of someone they care about and love? Believe me, it’s…..”

“It sucks.” Dean chimed in.

Y/N frowned and looked at him. It seemed like his words were not just empty talking but more like he’s been through something that left a scar on him. His tone clearly suggested that he knew what he was talking about and so did his face expression.

“Wait….. did it happen to you too?” Y/N asked her eyes growing wide. “Growing apart with Sam? No one recognising you?”

“Do I look like a spider-man to you?” Dean smirked. “Not forgetting, but yeah, becoming distant, yes.  It should never be like it….” The man muttered, keeping on a straight face. But even though Y/N knew.

She knew he was through the same experience as her and for the first time since they met she might have felt something different then annoyance at him. It was such a surprising change of feelings that it made her chuckle.

“Why are you giggling like a silly teenager?”

“I’m not grinning But hey, you know what? You’re not such a bad boy as you pose as.”

“don’t know if that’s an offence or a compliment”

“How about a piece offering?”

“Where’s the pie then?”

“Oh I’m sure we can find one. Can’t we Bobby?”

Bobby didn’t answer, his gaze darting between the two in a bit of a confusion .

“Balls!” he cried out finally.

“Yeah, I know, it’s terrifying….” Sam muttered

“Handling one of you was a challenge at times, but two?! Not for my nerves.”

“How about we sent us back then? What do we need?”

***

Luckily Bobby had all the ingredients necessary for the backwards spell. It only took a few hours to put it all together.

Sam and Y/N were coming back home, and yet, she felt some sort of nostalgia. Meeting Dean was something… supernatural. And yes, he might have been the rowdy, rebel type with leather jacket, no phone and no address, but he was still her. And it was both shocking and enriching. Just like looking at the mirror and seeing someone else being through all the same life event and behaving in the same manner.

And she couldn’t just leave without saying at least a word of goodbye.

And apparently neither could he.

So, acting with the same instincts they met at the porch of Bobby’s house, sharing a can of beer.

“Hey there.” She smiled genuinely

“No holy water this time?”

“Nah… Bobby taught me another exorcism just in case.”

“Yeah, he got a way with those crazy spells.”

“Hopefully the one he’s about to cast will work.”

“You worried?” Dean handed her a can and looked at the girl carefully.

“Since when do you care?”

“You know me….” He chuckled in response “You are me after all.”

“Finally came to peace with that?”

“Maybe. I mean… “ he sighed unable to find the right words to describe it.

“I know.” She interrupted him. “I know. But you gotta admit one thing.”

“And what may that be?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I got a better ass.” Y/N smirked taking a sip of her drink and enjoying the slight blush on her male counterpart’s face. Poor Dean. No matter what he would say at that moment he would offend himself.

“You won that one, Y/N.”

***

“Ready?” Bobby asked

“As ready as can be.” Sam muttered

And so Singer started casting the spell that send them back home. Safely and in one piece. But before they disappeared …..

“see you around, bitch.” Dean grinned

“Take care, jerk.” she grinned back

[an-au-blog]

hello again!!

i'm quietly dying to know if u!buggy is present when robin translates the skypeian poneglyph & the note roger asked oden to leave on it. just. an amnesiac clown staring at this giant rock, too busy silently screaming what does it meeeean to hear robin explaining what it means. cracks me up.

(i also love the thought of there being a pattern of older locals recognizing buggy just a moment too late as 'one of the kids from back then'. i love a running gag that doubles as foreshadowing! though crocus would surely recognize buggy on sight, i bet he assumes buggy's being cryptic on purpose when he "pretends" not to know him, and goes along with it.)

i'd misremembered that conversation at shakky's bar as having only a handful of the strawhats present, and so was imagining that buggy had no idea they'd gotten a lead on his past, and rayleigh would only see buggy on the kizaru-kuma-strawhat battlefield for a minute before he gets kuma'd away… on one hand, i still love this idea bc i love pain. otoh that conversation happening with everyone but buggy present feels wrong. and a "don't tell me, i'll find out the truth for myself!" ending to rayleigh and buggy reuniting is so fitting, it's the same argument robin & luffy make to rayleigh in that scene!

i looove the thought of buggy losing track of luffy after marineford. what a situation he's in now!! surrounded by dozens of ex-prisoners who idolize him, maybe two he gets along with, a half-dozen he's terrified of, and shanks. he's heard stories from luffy, but that's luffy! you can't go to him for realism or accuracy!! but... this shanks guy does have a boat... and something about his face is kind of familiar...

how long does it take shanks to realize buggy acting like he doesn't know him isn't an act, i wonder? how many old grudges does shanks halfheartedly apologize for, trying to get buggy to give in and acknowledge him? is one of those apologies the thing that makes something click for buggy? does he freeze up, or immediately snap and shout at shanks bc he's misremembered why buggy was mad at him that time? :3c

xoxo, difan

Hello, Difan!

I thought about that like once when I was thinking about Robin in the u! universe, but then i forgot and never really thought about it again lol. In my mind he comes along somewhere between East Blue and Alabasta, though if anyone wants to adopt this au, I'm fine with whatever interpretation or spin they want to put on it.

Now that you said it, I agree, it would be really fun if the locals recognize him randomly like "yeah, yeah, that was the red-nosed kid! Aw, he was so cute, we gotta live him! Pity he's not with his friend though, hope nothing bad happened to the other one..." And Buggy just going"ifk what you're talking about, you're being weird af" and everyone just assumes the other kid (shanks) died and it's a painful memory so they're all like "Oh, yes of course... our bad... if there's anything we can do to help you tell us, it's been so hard for you, we're so sorry ". Which confuses Buggy even more, but hey, he's getting positive attention, even if it's pity, and he's not going to complain about it.

Buggy meeting Rayleigh in the bar is so dear to me. Idk if it'd be realistic but I feel like he'd be very defensive qt first but then Rayleigh would be "Buggy? Is that you? I barely recognized you, you've grown so much, and become such a strong young man" and then something snaps and he just falls into his arms absolutely sobbing. He doesn't know why, he can't remember him on a conscious level, but they still jave this father/son moment of comfort.

I don't remember if I said this in the last post or if I thought of it now, but him losing Luffy at Marine Ford and clinging to Shanks for protection would be funnier (to me) if he goes by the logic of "Okay, he's scary, the generals are even scared of him, Luffy likes him and he seems fond of Luffy. He looks a bit familiar so idk if he would have some grudge with me if I've wronged him in some way... so I'm just going to use my contact with Luffy as leverage!" So he just starts going "You know Luffy, right? Well I'm in his crew" (which breaks Shanks's heart because... why isn't he in his crew? What did Luffy offer him that Shanks can't?? And why is he jealous of his child protege? Buggy sees he's a little upset by it so he continues "So if- if you're his friend and care for him, you'll take me and my men to safety... and not kill me.......... please."

And he switches from being sad to being so confused like,

Shanks: wdym I'll do it because of Luffy. I'm not helping you because of Luffy,

Buggy absolutely terrified that his one strategy of manipulating his one ticket to freedom has expired:..... wh.. why?

Shanks: I'm gonna help you because we're friends! You're my best friend Buggy!

Buggy: We are? I mean uh, we are.

Shanks assuming he remembers him and being do happy: So you remember me?

Buggy afraid if he says no, Shanks will get mad and leave him: ... yes.

Once in the ship (because the prisoners are so many) everyone sleeps wherever they can. Except for Buggy. Shanks insists on giving him his bed or at least his a place in his room. "We were bunkmates after all" he says but Buggy just smiles and nods hoping he doesn't find out he doesn't actually recognize him. Shanks can feel Buggy is on edge the entire time and he tries asking but Buggy always goes "No, no it's fine, everything's great haha" so he starts testing the waters by asking "hey do you remember *insert thing that never happened* that was so crazy, right?" To which Buggy'll go all "yeaaaah, absolutely haha, very crazy that happened I remember!" And after the third or fourth time Shanks couldn't take it and confronts him about it. Buggy is furious but also devastated because that's it. He's going to kill him now. Maybe even worse. (Keep in mind Buggy has seen how cruel people can be and his time with the straw hats doesn't help him think better of people, because they also keep bumping into horrible people)

He starts scream crying at him, he's already a deadman, what else does he have to lose, might as well let it all out. Meanwhile, Shanks is so confused because he understands absolutely nothing.